Changes Come With A New View

Hello Internet!

... I've been watching way too many danisnotonfire videos on YouTube. How do I know? That greeting. Totally not stolen from him... Nope! >.>
Next thing I know I'll be referencing IISuperWomanII, JennaMarbles, NigaHiga and/or all the other YouTubers I devotedly watch...

Anyways, hiiii! This past week hasn't been /overly/ eventful, though I do have a couple of things that have happened and have spurred inspiration for writing; and so, I will be blurting away tonight... This is also removing another procrastination option as I really ought to be doing my Anatomy and Ecology assignments due within a week of each other, over the next three weeks... And the Anatomy one is pretty damn big. Creating an animal is no easy task!

So, firstly... Live Below The Line is over! Finally! The last three days of the week were rather... Interesting having to deal with very little food. I got sick to the point where I would cut down even more on food so I could have a gulp or two of orange juice, or stock up on a bit of meat, just to get a bit of protein/vitamin in me to try kick the sickness as best I could. On Thursday, I had an Anatomy prac where we were looking at the digestive system of a sheep... Now... The week before we had looked at a pig, and I was completely fine with it! The smell was a bit deterring, but I was fine poking and playing with it and all that jazz. This week, the smell was nothing compared to the pig, and it wasn't much different to the week before... But this time was different... The fact that I hadn't eaten anything in four days and was ill, made dealing with the sight and smells of an animal's insides a lot more difficult. I apparently went incredibly pale, then turned a brilliant shade of green, before I left the room to stumble into the bathroom. Nothing happened! Don't worry... As soon as I left the room, I immediately felt better; but I did end up getting a fellow student to go back and grab my books for me, as I didn't want to risk walking back into the room and actually passing out or throwing up... I didn't know which one my body wanted me to do more, but I wasn't fond of either!

I found I didn't get much hunger pain during that week... Though that could be due to the illness taking most of my attention. But I did find a lot of fatigue and, I will admit, crabbiness... I am ashamed to say that I am a first world brat! I honestly admire those in third world countries after last week; because I don't know how they go about their lives so cheery and giving of themselves, no matter what predicament they're in! When I had my food intake severely reduced... Every day I got a bit snappier, bitchier, and sarcastic. Any little thing would irritate me a lot more than it should, and I felt fatigued all the time; which also ramps up my sassiness levels. Thankfully, LBTL ended before I got too bad... But I am still slightly ashamed of myself as a person for having that reaction. I mean, it did teach me a lot! It humbled me and made me aware just how hard it is to live a life like that, and that is the point of the week. But... It's never a nice thought to know what you turn into when the things you want won't, or can't, be given to you.

Nothing much happened last week until the Pitt fancy dinner on Friday night, calling the end of LBTL for us! I attempted to straighten my hair and look decent for the occasion, but my body thought against it as usual. I know I didn't look terrible... But did it have to have been raining that day and evening? It made the weather all humid, and hair-frizzifying (it's a word guys... I swear...) and yeah... I tried to have a good night, but it was a bit difficult I'll admit. There was recording for Pitt MTV which required a lot of telling university students to be quiet and things that... You really shouldn't need to do with uni students really, considering our ages... Then again... I just returned from the bathroom recently where the person who wrote up this week's Pitt notes spelt mascaraed, instead of masquerade... *Twitch* My internal grammar Nazi is not raging at all, nope.

It also turns out that a week of barely eating anything had already shrunken my stomach... As much as I wanted to eat a fair amount of food in celebration, I physically struggled eating more than the amount I had gotten used to eating! It's changed already over the past half week. I'm slowly getting my ravenous appetite back now that my body knows I can eat whatever I like again... Especially ice cream tonight for dinner! Yeee! ^_^

For those who have noticed, I have taken a bit of a different approach to the blog tonight... As much as it's still mostly about my life, what I do, and what I think about that... I'm gonna try not detail exactly what I do every single day... I find that it might be irritating to read, and I'd like to take this blog in a new direction... I do this blog out of my own personal enjoyment, and it's a way of expressing myself where I feel comfortable to do so. Because everyone knows I am a people-hating introverted autistic child who just like to vent all her problems out in a post where she doesn't have to see people's face when finding all this information out :P But yes... I'd like to start discussing things more on here. Sharing my opinion on things, and a more detailed view on particular events that may happen to me. I already have a couple of things I will be discussing a little further down that I mentioned before... And I'm just gonna try keep it up each week if possible!
Maybe some of you want to know what I think about certain topics or debatable issues in the world today..? Who knows! If you want to know ANYTHING at all, post it as a comment on the bottom of this blog. I will read it, and I will most definitely mention it in the next blog post I write. Or, if you know me in real life, tell me in person or Facebook or whatever. Preferably Facebook, or somewhere where I can note it down though... Cause I will forget :P

Anyways! Moving on to one of the topics I really do want to write about! *Ahem*

This week I finally went to a "chime" session for the first time! It's basically a session run each week by Student Life where a group of students come to talk about God, Christianity, etc... [Bestiality] came knocking by my room, and off we went! We were about 10 minutes early, but I didn't mind... I was both excited, yet terrified. As much as I am Christian now and all that jazz... I have almost always had negative experiences in my past with this religion, and some of the churches along with it. It's been pretty difficult getting over those hurdles and accepting to go to yesterday's chime session... But I really do want to work myself back to the point where I am willing to begin attending church again, and other places of worship; because I want to devote more time to Him!
The people there were absolutely lovely and the atmosphere was so relaxed and friendly... I loved it. After an ice breaker, we split into a couple of groups. [Bestiality] and I were with a Student Life leader looking at Soularium cards. I instantly fell in love with this concept. For those clueless... It's a kit of 50 picture cards and five question cards, not that you necessarily have to use the questions they provide... It's all played by ear. The guy asked us to pick a picture to represent how our week has been, how our spiritual journey has been so far, and what we want our relationship with Him to be like in the future. The awesome thing about this is... If anyone had asked those last two questions to me outright, I would've instantly frozen up and not known what to say. I would've felt cornered, and gotten stressed out... But, somehow, this method allowed me to answer the questions relatively effortlessly. Because... I picked a picture that stuck out to me, and I explained why that picture and how it relates. It was a lot easier than having to say the answers right out, that's for sure.

After having done that, we swapped round. [Bestiality] had an event to run, so she left; but I decided to stay for the next half session with a couple of girls. One being the runner of the chime sessions. She talked to us about role-playing as well as touched on evangelism... The girl I was with and I ended up asking a fair few questions, so didn't end up doing any role-playing; which I am relatively relieved about, not gonna lie... The prospect of role-playing daunts me at the moment. I don't feel as though I'm quite ready to do such a thing, and I don't know if I ever truly will... I will happily try it someday though, because I know it helps the learning process a lot. But, maybe not right now? Just... I really do feel quite clueless and lacking in knowledge when it comes to the faith right now; which there's nothing wrong with that! It means I have so much room to grow and learn... But it also means I'm very hesitant when it comes to trying new things currently, because I just don't know how I'll be with them.
I did find myself opening up and discussing recent traumatic events that have happened to me with the girl who runs chime... I guess I was just at the point where I had an opportunity to possibly find answers, or at least seek comfort, with fellow Christians and know that I wasn't going to be judged; which is all I ever want. We discussed how my hesitance to attending church can be perfectly understood, and she helped me by giving me ideas to try and get back on the path leading in that direction which is where I want to go. She offered bible study sessions each Wednesday night, but it can clash with the club nights depending on which night's I'm going... I was unsure as to whether or not I was going to the club tonight, so I didn't think of the study session; but it turns out that I didn't go, so now I kinda feel bad... But ugh! I really should be assignmenting anyway.

But yes! I found the chime session to be amazing for me. It was small, and simple. And I really really want a Soularium kit for myself! It could be a simple get-to-know people game for one... Doesn't even have to be Christianity related! General questions could be asked. Though, I would like to use it for it's true purpose as well... I'd like to use it to see where people are at with their journeys and how they feel about everything... If I was to have any technique when it comes to talking to people about Christianity and all that... It would definitely be through the use of those cards. It's gonna totally be my thing y'all. I wanna do it!

Okay... I'm gonna move on to the next topic now, but I can sorta do a transition because... What happened after chime literally links the two, cause it's awesome like that.

After chime I was walking and talking with a girl I met at uni the year before through choir. She was supposed to be a fellow choral member this year as well but never turned up... Yeah, I'm not gonna go into it; but yes! Fellow choral member! Anyways...
We ended up sitting outside a little away from the chapel where chime was held and talked for two hours... We're females! Do you expect anything less..? :P

So yes... We were talking about Christianity at first, seeing as we both had been at the chime session. We talked about our personal views on topics, as well as our thoughts on shallow minded people that can't be mature and accept that not everyone will agree with them and all that jazz... It was nice to have a friendly debatable conversation on issues like that. For instance, she is against gay marriage and I am not. She isn't against gay people... It's more her religious beliefs and views influence her views on what a marriage is and things like that. As I discussed with her... She made valid points, which I can see where she came from; but for me, it's different! At least she wasn't a complete homophobe! And she accepted that if gay marriage is to be allowed in Australia that she's not going to hate it. It doesn't affect her personally, so she can just allow it to be; but not bring attention to it, like any mature human should do really...

ANYWAYS! Back to the original point... 

We didn't stay on such topics for very long... We very quickly turned to a conversation that involved the both of us basically fangirling over our boyfriends... We caught up on how each couple met. First kiss, how long we've been together, all the usual sappy jazz... I swear, I'm not normally this cheesy and that... But, for some reason, when talking to her that day; I just became this excitable, giggly mess that was n'awwwing over everything her and her partner did and was receiving the same from her.
Is it age? Cause I swear... I used to be the biggest tomboy ever who thought I'd be forever alone, and would live in the forest with all these animals; and be an animal whisperer or something stupid... Basically, I was totally okay with not having a man in my life at that point. But, the older I've gotten the more girly I've gotten... And dependent! What happened?! Darn it all... And I guess since dating [K-Dawg] it's gotten chronically worse. 

Especially lately. I've been predominantly thinking about long-term relationship type things... Not with [K-Dawg] so-to-speak... Just in general. Like... I never really thought about weddings and marriage... Some girls have their dream wedding planned out by the age of 10 years old... I was just happy playing Crash Bandicoot and Spyro at that age... Now I'm almost double that age (ew, oldness...) and have only recently started pondering it... And you know what? I'm clueless! Utterly clueless! There is one thing I have always known, even as a kid... And that is that I don't want my wedding in a church or chapel. It might have to do with the fact that I wasn't religious when I made this decision... But I think it's more the fact that I want to be outside somewhere. The thought of being inside with a whole heap of people unsettles me... At least, if it were outside with the same number of people; it would seem so much more open, and I would be much more okay with it. Plus! You can get some wicked sights depending on where you have it... On a mountain overlooking a city? A beach with all the waves? And the sand... Which is a bit of a turnoff not gonna lie... Maybe not the beach... Ick. Anyways, you get my point!

Bringing [K-Dawg] into this now... It gets a fair bit worse, jus' sayin'... Never have I been so attached to a guy so quick, and for such a prolonged time either... I'm an easily set off person. It doesn't usually take much... And with previous relationships, it hasn't taken too long for my boyfriend at the time to tick me off; and for me to have partially snapped at them, or I took some time out away from them... But with [K-Dawg] that hasn't happened yet! I spend all week waiting for the weekend to arrive, then as soon as I'm heading back to uni; I'm missing it already and complaining to myself about how far away the next one is... I can't lie and say I'd have a good day if he hasn't messaged me at some point that day... It hasn't happened yet.. Thankfully! But, just saying... :P

I can't believe I'm admitting this stuff on the internet... Where has this blog gotten too [Miss Invisible]? Honestly! Embarrassing...
May as well continue I suppose. Can't get much worse! :P

I guess I'm just getting to that age where I want to start settling down and getting my life really together... At this rate, I am most likely going to be adding on another year of university so I can finish all the subjects without over-stressing myself... So what does that mean for me? Another year of putting everything on hold..? Is everything riding on my finishing the degree? If so... Yaaayyy... I really don't like that thought...
I honestly can't give you a specific age where I want to be married... But I know I'm totally okay with it being sooner than I originally felt, if it happens that way. But... Not too soon. I mean... Being engaged after half a year of dating, yeeaaahhh... Probably not :P Need at least some time to really get to know each other. Not just the honeymoon period where everything is happy and cheesy all the time. I don't even know where this post is going... My mind is a bit all over the place tonight! Absolutely no idea why... I hope you can keep up with what the heck I am saying, cause I'm struggling and I'm the author! If I have grammar errors or something doesn't make sense... I'm too lazy to proof this, so I'm not gonna check. But feel free to ask questions for me to clarify any confusing points, cause I'm sure there are a fair few...

Random point that I just remembered because this year's Swedish entry is currently playing on my iTunes...

EUROVISION IS ALMOST HERE!

Well... Actually... If you're in Europe, it would have already started; along with anyone who watched the live streamings from Europe. For people, like me, who is waiting for the Australian SBS broadcast this weekend... SO CLOSE! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I am trying to stay away from anywhere on the Internet that can give away spoilers, as I don't want anything ruined for me... Last year, I was happily checking Facebook when [Mr Awesome] popped up with a message saying "Hey! You happy that Sweden won?" (Oh yeah.. Sweden won last year in case you didn't know guys...) And all I could do was sit at my computer like O.O

I hadn't watched the final yet... It was that night that I was going to watch and find out... The country I was going for happened to be Sweden last year, so I was relatively happy; and I figured Sweden had it in the bag anyway (to which Loreen absolutely smashed everyone with her amazingness), but COME ON! I didn't wanna know! I wanted to be biting my nails anxiously while watching the voting and freaking out whenever any country looked like they could beat Sweden... I wanted to have a heart attack and stress myself out way too much over a show aired on the other side of the world! And that opportunity was taken away from me! ... *Sigh*

Just so long as it doesn't happen again this year... [Mr Awesome]! Don't you dare blurt out to me the winner again this year, or so help me! I will fly over to South Australia and burn you in flames! ... I kid, I kid... But seriously. Everyone. Please. Let an Australian girl watch the entirety of the Eurovision Song Contest without having anything spoiled for her, so she can have an amazing night with [K-Dawg], [Phantomess], [GoJo], [Tenuto Tuo], [Clearly Unfocused], and a couple other peeps on Sunday watching the final together; as well as playing a non-alcoholic Eurovision drinking game, cause we are just awesome like that ;P

So, again... I'm not entirely sure where this blog ended up; but I'm pretty damn sure I did not originally intend it to unfold like this... But hey! Since when does it ever? ^_^

I might go work on a bit of Anatomy now... Or go on a Maccas run, because I've been denied for far too long; and my body is craving it... Yeah, it's that bad... Don't judge me and my eating habits!

... *Shifty eyes*
...*Waves* Byeeee

~Give my love to the leprechauns~

Confrontations

Hi guys! It's crazy how regular I've become with these blogs... So proud of myself! Or, I really shouldn't be, cause ya know... This is being written because I'm procrastinating... Hmmm... Oh well!

So, the past half-week has been somewhat uneventful; but a few events have occurred so, I should have a decent amount to write about this week hopefully (for all you whiners saying I'm not writing enough for your liking ;P).

So after posting the last blog very early Thursday morning; I then headed off to bed and had another broken night's sleep, to wake up at 11am (my usual wake up time really...). Managed to get myself out of bed and ready to go to lunch, then head off to my Anatomy prac at 12pm which was on digestion. Hmm... What's that smell? Oh. That would be the entire digestive system of a pig laid out on a table in the middle of the room! See... I'm a bit of a weird one... Give me any part of an animal, whether that be just the outside, just the insides, just it's blood; whatever... And I'm totally fine with it! The only thing that gets to me is smell at times. It never affects me to the point where I feel like I'm going to be sick (or I haven't been exposed to such scents yet..), but it does make my stomach turn a little.
Give me any part of the human? Nup. Can't have it. Just does not agree with me at all. Even though, if you think about it, half the time it would not be much different... I'm weird in the sense that I just can't handle anything human (wow... I really AM anti-people! ;P).

I mean, needles. I, personally, can't stand them. Painful, mental scar-inducing little suckers that they are! I can't stand them! Unless it comes to animals... I could jab away at them all day long for all I care. But humans? Nope. No thank you. Have a nice day.......

So yeah! I had a bit of fun playing with pig intestines and being a good student and identifying each part of the system and all that jazz... A++ yeah? ^_^

Friday was a pretty tiring day for me... The Anatomy lecture was good, as usual; mostly due to the fact that they only go for an hour maximum, and you have to be on your toes to write down extra notes and things like that. Plus our lecturer is just a funny, and slightly crazy, woman! I then had lunch, followed by three hours of Biometrics... I normally only have the one on the Friday, but I'd swapped my contact over to the Friday so I could spend the extra time finishing off my Ecology assignment on that Monday it was due.

The hour long tutorial was spent [Bestiality]-less because she had equine things to do instead... So I instead had to suffer almost an hour of a fresher talking to me about gaming. It wasn't the topic that was bugging me. It was his pompous bragging over how amazing his game setup is in his room on campus, how much money it's worth, etc... I get it! Your family's loaded! But seriously! Your older brother isn't anywhere near as bad as you when it comes to flaunting... PIPE THE F*** DOWN!

The two hours in the contact was a bit better since [Bestiality] was actually there for that one, along with a friendly Thynne resident we get along with. I don't think we really learnt that much from it... Or, at least, I didn't. Or I did and I just can't remember it now... Oh bother... Who knows! :P And it went relatively quickly, which is always good.

I then had a couple of hours to kill before the bus arrived for me to head home... So I went over to the post office to buy the bus ticket, check my mail, then book a doctor's appointment... For those of you who don't think of this as a massive deal, it was for me okay?! It was utterly terrifying! I do not do well with doctor's (at least when it comes to my health), and when it comes to the reason why I was going... Well... I shall get there when I reach the day in this blog; but it added an extra element of horror for me.

I then hopped onto the bus and headed to another of my Uni's campuses; where [K-Dawg] picked me up in his lion onesie, and I just happened to be in my lioness onesie ;) It was totally not planned at all guys... *Cough* So yeah! Then we headed over to my place to discuss with my parents ideas on what to do about Lion King and how we're gonna go about it; then we ended up playing the surgeon simulator game together along with my brother, who seemed to always jab himself on the needles and was basically drugged up the entire time... He had too much fun with that. Like... Way too much :P

The usual cuddles were had, then he was sent on his way home so we could both get some much needed sleep. I woke up sometime around 10:30am and lazed around until I had to go to work with the oh-so-slow junior. You know you've been working at Subway long enough when you get excited when your boss brings in a new mop... Yeeeaaahhh... Especially considering the fact that I had to clean the floors that night, it was nice! Except the fact that that mop was heavy! Like, ugghhh. Heaviest mop we've had so far; and for little ol' me, it wasn't overly ideal :P But new mop! Along with the mop bucket and broom being replaced recently as well, makes for a happy [Miss Invisible] and Subway workers! ^_^ Oh... And I may have sliced myself on the tomato slicer... Hmm... I totally do not fail at life okay?! The tomato slicer and I are just sworn enemies; and it has been that way ever since I first worked at Subway... Stupid piece of machinery... -.-

Sunday wasn't overly eventful really... [K-Dawg] turned up after church to chill and so he could take me to the train station later on for me to head back to Uni. It was also this day when I started Live Below The Line! Lunch on Sunday was my last decent meal, before I started dinner that night. Which, I actually ended up eating nothing so... It was a great start! Not entirely sure if it affected how I woke up the next day though...

Yeessss. Yesterday (Monday) morning, I woke up feeling like death. Granted, I woke up at 8am (which is bloody amazing for me) so I could have a 60c breakfast (one scoop of baked beans & a boiled egg); but I woke up feeling like death. No joke. My throat was dry, and ridiculously sore; and I had the biggest headache, along with extreme tiredness and dizziness whenever I got up or moved too quickly. I was the most attractive sight ever, I'm sure... Thankfully I only had three hours of class that I was going to attend. The Anatomy lecture was fine to go through. But the two hour Biometrics contact? Nope... I was gonna try and actually help out this time round; but I just felt worse and worse as time went on by, and I literally felt like passing out at multiple points. It was not pretty... And it probably didn't help that I only got one scoop of tortellini pasta for lunch that day as it cost me 75c for that one scoop... Leaving me with 67c for dinner; which got me two scoops of rice and one scoop of beans, as well as 3c worth of Vegemite spread to snack on after :P

This morning I woke up a lot better, thankfully! I've borrowed a blanket off a friend until I can actually remember to bring mine up, so I think the warmth helped me be able to sleep. But, I did sleep through breakfast this morning.. It was unintentional! I had set my alarm; but there was a power outage throughout the uni, so it reset my alarm clock and didn't set off the alarm... Yay! So I woke up around 10:30am and just drowsily browsed the internet until it came time for lunch, which was dreadful. They had put out burgers for everyone, so for us LBTLers... It was shite. They had soup there, which I think was pumpkin... Which, I don't normally like pumpkin soup; but I can tolerate it well enough. This one? Nope. They had put some ridiculous herb in it, that made me feel sick eating it. So I didn't! I had taken two sips (so what... 2c?) and a slice of bread (10c) and that was all I had for lunch. I'm still relatively ill, so I don't feel like eating much currently; so it is somewhat a plus but... I know how hard my body is finding it to fuel my immune system so it can kick this virus out.

At 3pm, a group of us Pittlings headed over to a grassy area for the filming of the main scene for the MTV video. It took longer than they said it would (20 minutes turning into a little over an hour); and it was hard keeping everyone interested and sticking around, but it should be worth it in the end! I'm so proud of Pitt this year with our organisation and everything. So much better than last year when we did the video (filming & editing) all within around two weeks; which almost made our editor go insane... So on top of things this year, and it's absolutely fantastic! Can't wait to see the final product! I'm sure it'll be amazing ^_^

The only downside to the filming though, was the after effects it had on me. I woke up pretty good this morning. No headache... Still a sore throat, and couldn't make too fast a movement or my head would throb for a while; but other than that, I was fine. But the filming today involved a lot of people talking around me, as well as being thrown around a little to the point where my headache returned; and possibly to the point where it was a little worse than yesterday. I was in my room, and the world would spin momentarily; and this was while I was sitting in my chair... So yeah, I was a little concerned; not gonna lie! But dinner wasn't too far off, so I went to that and stocked up on a fair bit of food since I had basically eaten nothing all day and had almost my entire $2 to use. I had a scoop of pasta (20c), a scoop of veggies (which I'm guessing are 44c, since they didn't have the sign up), and a small scoop of bolognaise mince. Now... I am worried that, since they didn't have how much it cost, I may have gone over... But I'm going off the idea that the amount of meat I had was about $1 worth; which, when adding the two slices of bread I had as well, should still be under $2. I really needed a bit of protein in me, okay?! I was almost dying... And this week is about walking in their shoes, but always keeping your health a priority. But yeah... It should still have been under $2, so I should be right!

What am I doing now? Not much really. I already feel better since eating, and have a nice energy spike so I might do a bit of work after I post this up. Or, I might set myself up so I can do work another day and then procrastinate the rest of the night... Which is the more likely scenario :P

Oooh! Before I forget. Last blog post I mentioned that I got a message from an old friend and that I would go into detail in this post... So I guess I should probably do that :P

For those of you who guessed [Carl]... You would be right! Ding ding ding! Winner/s!

Yes... After having not talked since October last year, my ex-boyfriend decides to start messaging me late Wednesday night on Facebook talking about how, after reading a couple of posts I wrote, he realises "how much of a dick he was to me" and "how sorry he is" and all this stuff... Along with the fact that he and his current girlfriend are going through difficult times - aka; she's a controlling, crazy bitch who he's not so fond of anymore for reasons I haven't entirely been divulged in but yeah... Apparently I'm still the only person he can tell anything and everything too, so he came running back to me.

You know the awesome thing is though? Every other time this has happened... I was either single, or in a relationship that was spiralling downhill; so when we started talking again, we'd slip into our old habits (cause he's generally unhappy as well) which was never a good thing to do... But we always seemed too. Which would confuse me emotionally and mentally... But, it wouldn't last long before we were verbally attacking the shiz out of each other; then he cuts off contact, and we stop talking. This time? Completely different!

After the way he hurt me in October when we stopped talking, it helped me be able to finally completely move on. I accepted the fact that I couldn't have everyone in my life and have everyone be happy and all that... But, it was when I started dating [K-Dawg] that any miniscule emotional attachment I may have had left towards [Carl] was removed for good. And it just feels utterly amazing!

When [Carl] messaged me on Wednesday... I was shocked and anxious. I wasn't sure if I was willing to go through our usual cycle again. But, as I pondered it, I realised that we wouldn't be going through that usual cycle. Because I have moved on! And, I'm assuming he has as well... Or, I'd at least like to hope. Whether we continue talking and go back to friend status, or whether we do get to a point where we stop talking again; it doesn't matter either way for me anymore. I can live my life no matter what way it turns out!

So, I ended up replying to him. We emailed each other for a couple of days then we stopped for a bit.. Mostly cause I was too lazy to talk to him first, which I'm guessing he realised cause he emailed me for the first time again this morning. Our messaging is very disjointed at the moment, but that's because we apparently have to keep it on the low-down in case his girlfriend finds out. Which is a fair point, I suppose. I mean... She went on his account and unfriended me from it (at least that's what he said happened), so she is seeming incredibly controlling and a little bit loopy in my opinion... But I'm not going to make too major judgements on someone I haven't met.

So yes! Let's see how this goes... Shall we?

I don't have much else to talk about now... I've exhausted every ounce of anything interesting that could be going on in my life right now that I can think of. I have a few events coming up soon, along with multiple assessment and exams so... If I become less regular, please don't kill me! I have reasons!

Catch ya later homies.

~I'm sorry now, but tell me... Is this faulty information true?~

Procrastination Time!

'Sup y'all!

Another week has passed, and so many memories with it... Okay, I lie a little... Not much happened at all this week really. Just last minute cramming for an exam and an assignment that had a maximum word limit of 10,000; with the minimum being assumed to be at least 5,000.

Ahhh yes... The life of the Queen of Procrastination... As fulfilling as ever!

Yeah, so... Most of last week was spent spending hours in my room telling everyone, and myself, that I was gonna get focused and smash out some work so I'm not doing it all last minute... Nope! HA! ... Spent pretty much all of my time on YouTube instead, or lazing around on my bed... I am a truly horrible Uni student... Like, honestly... I did somewhat suffer when I realised that Biochem required a bit more studying than I initially realised... But I still managed to get most of it memorised; and walked into the exam semi-confident. Only to find that the one or two things I glazed over and/or wouldn't stick in my brain, took up about half of the exam... Oh the joys!

So, once that half hour long exam was over; I decided to treat myself to the day off after cramming the day and morning before it... And, ya know, it's more procrastination so; I wasn't complaining!

So, the exam was on the Friday... And that 10,000 word assignment I was talking about? Well... I basically did the entirety of it over the three days following the exam. I did the first section (worth around 2,000 words) on Saturday morning before heading to work... I then struggled through the second and three quarters of the third through Sunday. I say struggled because I was incredibly tired and lethargic due to lack of sleep and sudden work rush. Like... I don't think I've been this tired in a while. It was somewhat concerning! I literally looked like a zombie, trudging around the house... Dropping things that really should not have been dropped... I even burnt myself making two minute noodles that night when I got back to Uni!

Even though I was more behind on the assignment than I preferred to be at that point; I ended up inviting [K-Dawg] over a little earlier than initially intended (also because my Mum invited him over for dinner, but minor details...), but it was definitely a better choice... I was so tired I doubt much more work would have been completed; and, this way, I got to have some cuddles and uplifting company to perk me up a little before the dreary two hour trip back.
I've been so tired lately I've been falling asleep on [K-Dawg] mid conversation... It's that bad! I don't entirely know the reason for it either... Apart from the fact that I've been messing with my body. Working out in some gym classes, then going without and eating junky food... Then kinda repeating the cycle... Let's not forget that Live Below The Line is next week! And I am currently eating like a horse! Okay... Maybe not that much... But still. A ridiculous amount of food!

So Monday I woke up and finished the last bit of the section I intended on finishing the day before... I then went to lunch (and found that the Anatomy lecture was thankfully cancelled... YAY FOR MORE TIME!) and headed back to my room to smash out the last part... This assignment is for Ecology so... I'd already written about soil, invertebrates (insects to you commoners), and wildlife tracking methods... This last section was about vegetation... Oh the joys! But it had to be done... Oddly enough, I managed to smash out this last section with a rate of around 1,000 words an hour; making the section finished within 2-3 hours. I then spent an hour or so doing up references and the title page; and doing final touch ups and grammar checks... To have it handed in by around 4pm. This was due by midnight that night, and I was expecting to be solidly working up until that point; with how tired I'd been over the past few days and the slow rate I had been completing the other sections... But nope! Something kicked in that day and I was a typing machine. It was amazing! Even a few friends admitted that they were surprised I got it done so fast...
So... It's not exactly the best assignment ever... But it covers pretty much everything she wanted (at least vaguely) so I should definitely get a pass! Which shouldn't be too difficult. I heard a guy handed in 2,500 words last year and scraped a pass... Surely I must be able too with the 7,400 words (ish) I handed in... ^_^

So yeah! I gave myself the rest of the night off and played some Pirates (thank you [K-Dawg] for reminding me about the game I so sorely missed playing) and just relaxed...

Tuesday I spent doing... Well... Nothing... Literally. I skipped all my classes and sat around doing nothing. I told myself I would start on my Anatomy assignment; but it just didn't happen... I've been starting to feel drowsy all the time now, and I'm pretty confident that it is due to the fact that I am doing absolutely nothing with my life currently except sit around and eat way too much Maccas... Seriously... The amount of Maccas trips I've been going on recently is horrendous!

Which brings us to Wednesday... Which I'm still considering as today; but it's kinda past midnight right now so it's kinda Thursday now... So yay for time confusionism!

I woke up at 9am (hey! That's a feat for me currently) and stumbled out of bed... Literally. The lack of sleep I've been getting lately is ridiculous... To get dressed in pants and gum boots to head out to a farm area the University owns to look at... Wait for it... Trees and soil scales! Oh yes! The utter joy I felt trudging through mud and long grass was so immense it was overflowing... Add in the fact that it was ridiculously hot and I was stupid enough to forget sunscreen and a hat and yeeaahhh... It wasn't entirely fun.

I then came back for an Anatomy lecture that I couldn't quite focus in... Why? Because [K-Dawg] sent me a message informing me that LION KING PRESALE TICKETS ARE OUT! ... For VISA card holders, which I am not buuttt... ASDFGHJKL! LION KING! Okay... Now that my feelings have exploded everywhere... Nope, I lie... Still pretty damn excited! But have to wait until Friday (which is only tomorrow if I think about it... Ooooohhhh) until tickets come out for us non-VISA people.

I really don't have much else to discuss at the moment really... I'm currently Skyping with [K-Dawg] as he wears his lion onesie, and I wear my lion ears after watching him play a new surgeon simulator game and watch him finally do a heart transplant after multiple attempts... *Applauds sarcastically* And after receiving an intriguing message from an old friend... I shall go more in depth about this probably in my next blog as I don't really wish to discuss it right now. Mostly because I'm still wrapping my head around it, and it's late... And I really ought to be headed to bed soon rather than going on a mental rant! :P

So... It is with this that I shall take my leave... Until next time folks!

~If you conceive while wearing a lion/lioness onesie; it is expected that your cub be named Simba...~

In My Life

Hey hey strangers!

Have you ever felt bitter disappointment? Like... Disappointment in people, and where your life is headed... You may feel confused as to where you're meant to be going, or what you're supposed to do when you get there... You may feel frustrated with the limited knowledge you have, and you just wish you could know more; just that little bit more to stop you from over-thinking everything to the point where you're borderline crazy...

No? Oh... Maybe that's just me then...

Anyways: that can basically sum up how I'm feeling at the moment. Motivation is hard to come by with Uni work at the moment... Why? Because I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life anymore.

I mean... Growing up I always wanted to be a vet. I never swayed from that decision, ever. I had a brief moment of uncertainty in year 11 to do with obtaining the OP needed, etc. But as soon as I found out there are back doors into the course, there was definitely nothing swaying my decision...

So I went into my first year of University... All wide-eyed, innocent (sort of), and keen to get into study and work my into Vet! ...Until I saw the workload. The amount of work vets go through is somewhat ridiculous and majorly turned me off... Not to mention that my participation in the choir last year re-blossomed my true love for music within my heart... I've always been conscious about my singing voice. I can admit that my voice is probably better than your average Joe... But I also know that I abuse my throat way too much, and I don't sound anywhere good enough to get into the musical theatre industry; as much as my heart might be crying for me to do it.

See... This is my dilemma! My one, true passion is incredibly painful to get into... Especially if you don't have previous experience. And it also requires travelling, and a lot of it... If you'd been discussing this with me a few years ago; I would have been like "Heck yeah! Travelling?! Music?! Independence?! The life for me, right there!". Ask me now? I'm a lot more reserved about it all... Don't get me wrong, I'm still passionate about travelling. I haven't been outside Australia in 17 years, and I want to see as much of the world as I can! But travelling in musical theatre means I'll be away from those I love for weeks, if not months, at a time... Compare that to the fact that I'm getting older, and will soon be at the age where I might wanna start settling down and starting a family... Am I gonna be okay with the idea of leaving my family behind? No... But it's what I love, and it's what I want to do!

If I just go through with the course I'm doing (which I'm gonna do regardless cause, ya know, back up career and all that jazz) and get a job with animals, even if I manage to get one involved with big cats; will I be truly happy? It'll be more stable... I'll be there for my family. For all the firsts my children will go through... The growing up process... Everything I /want/ to be there for... But will I be happy? I don't know... Will I forever be pining to be on stage in a theatre somewhere performing in WICKED, Les Mis, Legally Blonde, Chicago, Phantom of the Opera, Cats, Avenue Q, West Side Story, Fiddler on the Roof, Mamma Mia... The list goes on!

Even then... Will I ever be good enough to get a leading part? Or will I always be stuck in the choir? Will I be happy with that? It's still doing what I love... But not being able to be the characters I adore and relate too..? I don't know how I'd deal with that.

So, um, yeah. That's just a pointless rant about how my life is somewhat at a crossroads, and I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do... And let's not mention the fact that this situation is not helped when I am running the choir this year, and nobody is turning up... One other person turned up tonight. It hurts... So much... All I want is to make music with people who share a similar interest. Fill them up with passion, and music, and love; and watch/hear them express it in song. That, to me, is beauty. It's my love. My passion. And, I don't expect people to be as passionate as me at Uni... But, I'm disappointed in the lack of people there are here that share a similar interest... Or, they're just too lazy to attend rehearsal... Either way. I'm having a hard time dealing with it... Especially when I'm giving so much of myself, and not getting much in return...

Well... Let's move on to the week that was now... Yeah?

So, I don't recall mentioning this last post so I shall mention it now... But the Australian government is being a bit of a bitch; and is trying to take about 6.3 billion dollars from tertiary education, to go into primary education... Now... I have used this analogy with multiple people I have been talking too; but this is like training an athlete all it's life, then denying him/her being able to compete.

For one... Why does primary education need more money?! Do they not need to just know their ABCs along with basic Math & English skills? Secondary & tertiary education needs the money, not primary. For instance; practicals for the Biochem subject I take, have been cancelled for the rest of semester. Why? Not enough money. Because my campus is under control of the bigger campus of the Uni I go too... The bigger campus is taking what little money is left to keep to themselves and their courses. Vets aren't suffering, because they used to be on the big campus and had to move here because there wasn't enough room; but the rest of us here? We pay $1000 per subject per semester... About $70 of that is actually going to the coordinators to pay for a semester of practicals; as well as paying for tutors to mark assessment etc. This means that most subjects I'm taking, don't have enough money to pay for markers and are having to do them all themselves... And, if this keeps up, in the future all subjects are going to be assessed by final exams; and final exams alone... With some subjects, it won't be so bad... But it's proven fact that people generally learn more when doing assignments, along with exams...

So yeah. It's comforting knowledge knowing that the government is screwing over everyone in tertiary education... It especially sucks when you consider that most jobs require either a TAFE diploma, or a Uni degree... And what kind of education do they think they're providing us, if they're stripping money away; which in turn takes resources, and valued lecturers/teachers because they can't be afforded?

...Moving on before I rile myself up even more than I already have...

The only plus side to all this happening was that the Biochem mid-semester exam was moved from last Thursday to this Friday... Which I am not complaining about at all!

So yes... All week was pretty much a lead up to Moulin Rouge which, to be honest, was nowhere near as good as last year... Most likely because last year it felt like the whole year was a lead up to the party, plus more of the freshers were over 18 and stuff; so it generated more interest... This year's had much less notice considering it was just randomly moved up the year... But I'm hoping that the UV themed party that was swapped round with MR will be absolutely amazing to make up for it.

It was still good fun though! Especially seeing [K-Dawg] dressed up with suspenders & a bow tie ;) The music could have been better, and we hit nowhere near lock out unlike last year... The club can fit 600 people, and we hit a max of 320 people... So yeah, it wasn't massive... But us girls got all dressed up and pretty, and the guys were lookin' spiffy and yeah... I'm pretty sure we all had our fun with the whip [Bestiality] had with her leather costume :P

We left the club a little early and headed back to Pitt in the cold... Ugh! Was no fun for us girls who were wearing outfits not made for the cold! Anyways... We eventually made it back; only for [K-Dawg] to want to go on a Maccas run... So I changed into my PJs and put my onesie over the top (much to his jealousy, muahaha!) and we headed over, where I got multiple looks and a girl outright asking where I got it and what it was (facepalm) and informing us that she was interested in getting a Stitch one (from Lilo & Stitch).

By the time we got back to my room; it was midnight which marked the beginning of a new day... But it just so happened that this particular was [K-Dawg] and I's three month anniversary! Already! It's so strange... It seems as though time has flown by; yet, at the same time, it feels as though I've been with [K-Dawg] for so much longer...

And I don't mean this in a negative way! Quite the opposite! Our relationship, though we're still very much in the 'honeymoon' period; was pretty... Advanced (for lack of a better word) from the get go. We just seemed to click and gel together so well; and throughout these three months we've discovered more similarities we share, along with our differences... And we're still making discoveries! Like the fact that we both like steak medium rare; and just today we both found out that we both have Scottish blood after I demanded he Google what Scotland's national animal is... We then discussed how we should totally move to Scotland and how amazing their animal is... Which is... Wait for it... The unicorn! Yup. Be jealous of Scotland guys. They have the best national animal EVER!

So yeah... Just have to say how amazing these three months have been. Through everything that's happened; we managed to get through it, and I'm so thankful for it... Cause it's pretty hard imagining life without this crazy cat in my life! But; I shall move on from the sappyness now... Heh.

So... It felt odd being kicked out of my own room... But it had to be done! And the only real issue I had with it was that I had gotten myself comfy and cozy, then had to head downstairs into [Bestiality]'s room... Where I found [Chappy] at the computer, and a tired looking [Bestiality]. [Chappy] was still sobering up from being quite, quite drunk; and was being his usual brash drunk self, before his Thynne buddies came to find him and go on a Maccas run... To which he instantly bolted out the room with a quick "bye girls!". Typical man... When presented food, that's the main priority! :P

[Bestiality] and I then cuddled up on her bed (literally... [Bestiality], you are a chronic cuddler when you sleep! :P) and eventually fell asleep amidst me talking in my sleep (I think I did it..?) and her probably replying in return... This was at about 3am, and I then had to get up at 8:30am; because I was silly enough to mention to [K-Dawg] that there was a BBQ breakfast at 9am, to which he was keen on going too... I mean, I was too but... I could easily sleep over having breakfast. But, going with the fact that [K-Dawg] seems incapable of sleeping in; it was probably for the best, otherwise who knows how long I would have slept for!

The breakfast was nice though, and was spent sharing stories from the party the night before... One of our friends couldn't even make it out of her room, she was shaking and that much hungover... When I saw her later; she had a black eye, and was limping around... I wasn't with her when she did whatever the heck did that to her body, but wow... Beaten up pretty much sums it up! Not to mention the fact that I've lost one of my thongs in her room somewhere... Which is somewhat irritating me, because those shoes are my life here! :P

We then eventually got our stuff together and... Went to Macca's for lunch! Twice in two days... Ugh... Wasn't overly keen, but I ate it anyway. He then took me home where we stayed for a small while, before I got changed and headed to Subway for work. Which, the start of the shift was absolutely terrible... So many customers, and we were so behind... Some prep hadn't been done; so I was doing prep in the middle of rushes, and I was with the trainee who shouldn't be a trainee still... But he is because he is so darn slow! Like.. Wow... Anyways. Thankfully, customers eventually died down; and I could catch us up... Yes... /I/ caught us up... The trainee did the dishes, restocked the drink fridge, and moved some food from the freezer to the fridge to defrost for the next day; in the amount of time it took me to do pretty much everything else... I mean, I'm somewhat used to doing it anyway with other juniors I work with... But, generally, the other juniors I work with do the floors; allowing me not to do it (cause I'm not so great at it.. Heh), but with this trainee I have to do it... And it almost literally kills my back doing it... I dunno if it means I'm doing it wrong, or just that unfit... But it hurts! A lot! Scrubbing wet floors with a broom is not fun guys, okay?

Sunday I spent having a nice catch up sleep in before I headed over to [K-Dawg]'s place where video games and YouTube videos were watched, along with [K-Dawg]s bromance partner... Who reckons he should be dubbed as [BOSSman] so... I suppose I can make it so! ;P [K-Dawg]'s nephew was also there; but our attempts at getting him to 'rawr' seem to be having little effect on the cheeky munchkin at the moment... Though I did catch him checking himself out in a mirror, dancing a little, and getting all excited over the fact that he could see himself. It was positively adorable!

It eventually got to the point where the boys headed off to prayer, and I headed off back to Uni; dropping by [K-Dawg]'s sister's place to give her her phone charger that she left behind, then filled up my car with petrol, and then... Guess what... Yep... Another Macca's run! I couldn't help it! I had missed dinner at the dining hall; and didn't have much else choice... So Macca's it was. I think I'm really gonna try lay off it now... At least for a while :P

-Random thought- I posted a photo of the gift [K-Dawg] got me for our three months (two photographic frames with cute inside messages round the outside) and anyways... [Carl] liked the photo, and I kinda had no idea how to react. Like... I honestly don't understand why we're still friends on Facebook... I can't bring myself to delete him, in case we might get to the point of talking again sometime in the future..? And I'm too damn caring and nice to cut him out of my life... Plus the fact that he was such a big part... But, considering the fact that we don't talk. At all. And then he likes a photo to do with me & my current boyfriend out of the blue... I just didn't know how to react. I felt conflicted. I can't bring myself to like things he posts about him & his girlfriend! I feel awkward! And just... Asdfghjkl. I dunno. I'm not over thinking it or anything. It just confused and unsettled me a little is all...

And now it's today! And.. Yeah... Not much has happened today... Apart from a group of us having a meeting to do with the MTV video that we are organising... Pitt is surely gonna win this year! I would mention what we have planned on here... But, it has to be a secret from the other halls; and I'm not sure if non-Pittling Halls people read these posts so I won't say anything to be safe... But I will say this! If it turns out the way we're discussing it, and I'm imagining it... It should be amazing! Something to be proud of hopefully! :')

So yeah... Filming for the first and last scenes are tomorrow; and I'm involved in that, so it should be good fun! :)

I think I've talked enough in this post... Don't ya think? Yeah... I don't have much else to say anyway except that if I don't blog in a while; it's because I'm actually putting Uni work first as a priority (shock horror, I know...) because I am starting to have assessment due, and due relatively soon. Oh! And I downloaded the Legally Blonde soundtrack, and do not regret a thing. These songs are so addicting! ^_^

Now... I'm gonna go make myself some two minute noodles and settle down for the night... Hope everyone enjoys their morning/afternoon/evening/night... Whatever time it is when you're reading this! :D

Catch ya's!

~Isn't it crazy? Yeah, isn't it crazy..? It's all because of you... All because of you~

Shamelessness

Hey hey!

Yes, it's been a while... But I honestly didn't have much substance to write about until now. Or at least, I can think of stuff to write now... Heh. Anyways...

I last blogged on Friday the 29th of March... Well... It's April now guys! Just.. In case you didn't know... And not much has really happened. Well, I somewhat lie. But it's mostly truth as well... But yeah. I shall try remember what I've done myself over the past few weeks.

My last blog post was the first day of the mid-semester break... Hmm... I don't remember doing much at all that week except seeing [K-Dawg] at some point of every single day. Literally. I don't know why we did that, cause it just made going back to Uni so much harder... I'm not saying I regret it, heck no! Just made me miss him that little bit more.. :P

So yeah... There are new boundaries (I dunno if I've mentioned this before) that involve us not being allowed at his place after his Mum has gone to bed; which I feel a bit bad over cause that is resulting in him coming to my place more often now, which means more money out of his pocket and me going stir crazy and not getting out of my own house often enough haha... It seems strange saying that, considering I live out at Uni during the weekdays but... My family drives me up the wall. I don't know if it's because three out of five of us are autistic, one is a "typical bratty teenager", and the last is a fed-up mother who is at her wits end... But I just don't like living with my family. I know that as soon as I move out, my perception will change because I'll see them less often and it'll be different... I mean, it's already changed since I moved out to Uni in the sense that I get along with my siblings more and have matured etc, but there's still a long way to go...

And it doesn't help when my mother is constantly telling me off for any small thing I do wrong; informing me that I'm not respecting the fact that she's paying for me to stay at Uni, and haven't gotten off my backside to find another job since Subway has gone /very/ downhill in the sense that I'm only getting 6.5 hours a week...

Anyways! Back to my initial point! Which was... Ummm... Oh yeah; so with the new boundaries being put in place it made it difficult to arrange [K-Dawg] coming to the Moulin Rouge themed club night this Friday. My parents were not keen on the idea of us doing an hour long trip after the club (this would be at around 2-3am); but there were issues surrounding temptation and things like that with him staying here at Uni. But, thankfully, it's all been organised! As initially proposed, I will be sleeping on [Bestiality]'s floor, and [K-Dawg] will have full access to my room (oh dear...); so we can get sleep and be much more awake for the trip back home the next day.

So yes... Moulin Rouge! Only the BIGGEST party of the year. Last year it was held in the second semester but it was apparently too cold, so they've moved it to this week instead. Hopefully plenty of people come, considering how little attention they're giving it... But I'm sure it'll be so much fun regardless! Always an interesting night with... Just as interesting outfits :P

Errrm. Not much else has really happened. [Bestiality] planted the idea that [K-Dawg] should take me out to my favourite restaurant just so he could see me in a dress he's taken a particular fancy too... Little did I know that our onesies were to arrive that day, as I wasn't expecting them for another week at least. Yes... I decided to (successfully) surprise [K-Dawg] with a lion onesie sent to his house, and I got myself a lioness one. I could tell when he turned up at my doorstep, before heading out to dinner, in his onesie that he was just a little bit in love with it hehe. But, we kept it on the fancier side of fashion as we went out; but as soon as we got back, it was straight into the onesies followed by board games with my family then just cuddling up to each other and acting like big cats really... ;D
I absolutely love it... Like... Oh my gosh! As soon as I put it on, the childish part of my brain switches on to high speed and I just feel like an overgrown kitten and act accordingly... It's so much fun, and I have no shame in saying this or any regret at all! Hehehe!

Also, most of you should know that I am running the uni choir this year and.. Well... It's not going so fantastically at the moment. I was so excited when I saw 12 people turn up to the first rehearsal; and the second had pretty much the same amount as well... We then had an event or two that stuffed us around a little, but now it's just me and two other dedicated attendees that turn up each week... We don't end up singing or anything because one girl feels uncomfortable with that; so we wait for half an hour or so, just talking about generic topics in the hope that people will walk up the stairs to the building... But it just isn't happening! And it's crushing! I've received three messages from girls saying they can't make it, one admitting that the work load was more stressful than they initially thought.

Now... Not to rant too much here but... There are two types of students. Crammers and studious ones. Studious students keep on top of their work all the time; and crammers, well, cram the day before generally... Whichever student you are, however, you should be able to make two hours out of your time on a Monday night. I mean... If you're studious, you'd have time on your hands cause you're on top of things. No student has so much work they are cramming 24/7 from the first week, surely? And if you're a crammer... You procrastinate! All the time! You're not doing anything better with your night!? Why not have some fun, and make some music? It just... I guess I just want to do as well as I can for the founder of this choir who moved to NSW (hence how I got captaincy basically..). Even our pianist, who we changed rehearsal nights from Tuesday to Monday for, hasn't attended the last two weeks... And the girl who's supposed to be in charge with me? Hasn't attended a single rehearsal yet. It's just really getting me down, cause I absolutely love music. It's my first true passion, and always will be. I'm aware that not everyone feels the same way I do about it; but if you sign up for something, why can't you stick with it..?

I had a bit of a chat with God just to vent a few frustrations over it, and I know things will work out... It's just hard to see past the initial descending fog that's clouding my judgement currently and just making me think negatively about the situation... I couldn't help but be uplifted though as I realised I was starting to transition into how I think my prayer method is gonna be... Singing.

I would just be chatting, then randomly sing a couple of lines, then go back... It was random, but it was fun. And definitely stress relieving. And, somewhat annoyingly but still cool, I did find I sounded better singing then and there. I went to my room after and was singing along with iTunes, but I found I didn't sound as good. It was odd, and again.. Slightly irritating, but that's just the perfectionist singer in me haha... But, I don't quite know what to think about it... I mean. I'm still so new to all this, so when I do discover new things it just enraptures me; and I find it so fascinating and yeah... So I thought I'd post my rambling on here to bore y'all with haha...

Moving on with a random memory. [K-Dawg] and I watched Les Miserables and cried... Just a little bit... That movie is so emotionally intense it's ridiculous! I also now have the entire soundtrack and give myself feels trips pretty much every day... Because I am a smart cookie like that.

Other random thing. A little over a month ago I started on the Pill (men, deal :P) purely to try and regulate my body more due to it being stuffed around since moving to Uni... And I recently just stopped taking it because I've noticed progressively worse side effects from it... The side effects I've gotten that relate to what I should look out for on the packet include weakness or numbness in any part of body (generally legs, and at times hands), severe pain in abdomen (not severe but still), and severe pain or swelling in either of legs (again, not severe; but pain in right leg..). It also mentions a couple of other things that I'm kind of considering might be potential but.. It could also be my paranoia kicking in... So yeah... I'm yet to actually see a doctor about it though. I'll get onto it soon, I promise... Eventually :P

Anyways.. If I stop making blog posts; y'all can assume I died from whatever I've now contracted from taking the damn pill... Why must it be so hard for us ladies?! Just why.

I can't think of much more at the moment that I've done with my life... Apart from eat way too much McDonald's... Like... It's ridiculous. I'm almost craving it every second night now, it's getting that bad. Thank goodness I have a fast metabolism, or I would be so fat right now; no joke! May as well make the most of it I guess until I get older and my metabolism slows down and I actually have to watch what I eat... Darn... :P

Ooooh; and I'm actually trying to get fit and stuffs. I went to Boot Camp & Boxing at Uni a few weeks back; but since starting on the pill and getting these side effects (not realising at the time), I stopped going out of fear that I'd put my body in too much stress... So... Once I sort out this issue; I shall hopefully be able to actually get my body into shape! By shape, I don't mean skinny... Cause I am plenty skinny and I know that. By shape I mean some form of muscle that's not the bare minimum that allows movement... I want my toned legs and arms back that I had a few years back!

I've also decided to participate in Live Below The Line this year... For those that don't know... Here is the website for it: https://www.livebelowtheline.com.au/
It basically involves me raising funds for people who live in extreme poverty by walking in their shoes for five days. I'll be eating on only $2 per day. For someone who eats as much as I like too... This is going to be incredibly difficult! But: it's an experience that I know will humble me and make me appreciate what I have. Those that know me on Facebook; I'll upload a link to my particular profile tomorrow if you wish to make a donation to the cause and me starving myself! I would post it on here but it reveals my actual name and everything; aaaaand, I'd much rather keep my privacy. So yeah! I'm hoping to raise $50 if possible; and it would be amazing if I could reach that, plus more if possible!

Aaand, I'm gonna stop pitching for the cause now and leave y'all be to your amazing lives! I'll write another post as soon as I have something worthwhile to chat about.

Until the future!

~A penny for your thoughts?~

Blood in the Water

Hi guys!

Yeah... I'm back... Rambling about pointless stuff as I always am! Hopefully this blog post will be longer than the last one though; for the sake of a handful of people I know personally complaining at me that it was far too short for their liking! Who woulda known?! :P

So, again, not much has reaalllyy happened over the past week... A couple of major things I wish to discuss though, and hopefully I'll get through everything I want to talk about without forgetting half the things!

This was the last week of the first half of semester at my Uni. So a few of my classes were cut due to today being Good Friday, so our classes ended yesterday. Monday was uneventful. A total of three people attended choir rehearsal, then I went to the hall meeting as usual; with which I "died" shortly after. Remember the Assassination Game? Yeah, well.. I had a feeling that the study room was where my unknown killer had been assigned to get me... A new fresher friend of mine decided to push me into there anyway (having no idea who my killer was, or anything like that); and the next thing I know, I was "killed" by a textbook! Ha! Well... At least I don't need to be paranoid about someone trying to kill me all the time I guess. Save that for next semester, when it's inter-hall assassination... Even more potential killers, yaaaayyy! :P

Tuesday was nothing special... Which brings us to Wednesday, which is a completely different story!

So I was somewhat worrying over a decision I'd made a day or two before in regards to saying "yes" to a girl friend crashing my room that night after the club... You may wonder what the issue with allowing that is, considering it's just a girl friend.. Yeah? Yeah... Umm.. Hmm... This particular girl friend sorta kinda maybe has a lesbian-y kinda thing for me, especially under the influence of alcohol... Last year she found out I had never kissed a girl before and BAM! Next thing I knew, her lips were on mine. Now... I am not against same sex relationships, of any form. That's not my issue... My issue is that I am now in a devoted relationship; where I'm improving and becoming a better person from it, and always facing forward... Never going back to the past [Miss Invisible].

I know she has good intentions... But honestly... When drunk, she's rather hopeless. A couple of weeks back she was at the Shock Your Mum party; and as much as she said that she respects that I have a boyfriend and won't do anything etc... She still planted a couple of kisses on my cheek, and almost got me full on if I hadn't literally stepped back and half told her off for it. I don't know what is with that girl when it comes to me... I mean... I'm flattered, but... I have a boyfriend dearie! It just doesn't work that way! *Sigh*

Anyways... So after res sport (which was ultimate frisbee.. Which we won... Cause Pitt is the shit! Aww yeah! ;D) I went back to my room and got changed into a singlet, skirt & sneakers for Golf Pros & Tennis Hoes... My Uni has classy themes, I swear! :P Then went to the common room to pre-drink with my fellow Pittlings heading out. I am slightly ashamed to say that I drank a little more than I intended to initially... I didn't get drunk! I will forever stand by that! I don't want to ever get drunk! The thought terrifies me... But I'm not against having a few, maybe even getting a little tipsy (depending on my mood) and having a good time (not that I can't when I'm sober, but yeah) so... I ended up having a little over half a bottle of cheap wine within the space of, oh I dunno... An hour and a half ish? I was just in one of those moods where I wanted to drink and have a good time for once! And it was great! I was so happy, and dancy, and kicking ass at pool! I swear it was once I started "sobering up" was when my pool skills decreased again, and so did my mood strangely. All of a sudden I was in one of those kinds of moods where the slightest thing could set me off for no apparent reason. This made me thankful that the girl friend I mentioned earlier, didn't actually turn up that night... So relief could flood through me as I ruined [Bestiality]'s night by ranting my sudden emotional surge to her and ending up leaving the club early... I'm sorry girl! I knew how much you wanted to have a good time and as did I at first! :/

We then ended up underneath the pergola with the fresher friend I mentioned before who pushed me to my death... I should give you a name cause you're a new good friend that will probably become a regular on here now so.. Hmm... I shall dub you [Genius!] for now as imagination is running a little low... And when we get back to Uni, if you're against this nickname we can discuss a replacement.

Anyways... So it was us three girls under the pergola; [Bestiality] and I half way through a conversation that was thoroughly stressing me and upsetting me. The topic was along the lines of [Miss-Dawg] in a sense, but more related to church and where my beliefs are at. A day or two earlier, [Bestiality] was going around with a couple of people handing out Easter eggs. I took one happily without realising that there was a catch.. And that was too answer "What does Easter mean to you?". And that just locked me up. I froze and internally freaked out. The main thing that had me freaking out was that I was actually thinking about that earlier... I mean... Before I found God; Easter was just about chocolate for me, ya know? Chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate! And, even though I found Him a year or so ago, it's actually taken till now to start feeling significant changes with things such as holidays and things... And I was still coming to terms with what Easter meant to me... I can generally tell [Bestiality] anything; and I know she wouldn't of judged me or anything, but the fact that two other people were there froze me up. I know that they wouldn't have judged me either, most likely! But... The fact remains... I can't help that my impression of people and how they go round with their opinions has scarred me for life. Literally. I become a meek little lamb that just wants to bow her head and scoot out of the way without ruffling any feathers, but not lose her individuality either... 

So there was that little scare earlier in the week... Then, at the club, I saw [Regal Pain] and his girlfriend dancing on the floor. I have no idea why it hit me then... But it did. Like a truck. I suddenly couldn't stand being anywhere near them. I couldn't stand being near the couple I deem so damn lucky to be able to do what they're able to do.

If they so wish; they can head over to the other half's room whenever they please and do whatever they please... Lie on the bed together, even if just talking! Cuddling. Falling asleep together. Sure; they do all the sexual things as well, but I'm not fazed about that part. If both sides of the relationship are 150% firm with their beliefs and morals that nothing will happen; then nothing will happen! It's as simple as that! Temptation may come walking by, but it's not difficult to put your foot down if things seem like they might go somewhere... Heck. I probably can't even dance like they were together... Flirtatiously close and all that... Not gonna lie: a part of me really wants to do that. Just have fun dancing with my partner... Not having to worry about what other people think for once. But no... When's that gonna happen?! Probably never!

And now to what's always grinding my gears to the point where I'm almost constantly upset or stressing...

[K-Dawg]... I know I haven't really mentioned this to you... I've been so happy about us getting back together, and whenever we're talking I'm too happy to think about it then... But that night after the club; I came to a realisation, and I couldn't help but get upset.

I mentioned earlier about how I froze up at being asked what Easter means to me... I am not a fan of answering questions that "have no right or wrong answer", aka opinionated questions. I'm a logical thinker. I answer with what is considered right by fact, etc etc. So when it comes to questions to do with religion and what I believe and everything like that. I loathe it. It literally tears me up inside. I almost become the person I try so hard not to be. The autistic monster in me wants to leap out, and that's never a good thing... You saw my face when your Mum was asking me the questions on Friday night... To be honest? I internally shuddered when she said to me "That makes you a Christian!". I have nothing against your Mum, and you know that... But the way she said that? Made me feel like I was a primary school student, and she was my proud teacher. I shouldn't be feeling like this. I shouldn't have too... But then what did you do? You went and got that One2One guide.

I didn't want to even touch it after I read parts of it. It was basically saying things like "giving new Christians the 'right start'" and it had questions... Questions... After every chapter... I know that this was just an idea... I know what you meant by it... I know you wouldn't have thought of it that way, or I don't honestly know what you were thinking! But all I could think of was the torture I may possibly go through... Meeting up with your Mum every week or so for "coffee". You have no idea how close I was to losing it that night when she put me on the spot with that fricking "pop quiz"... I really don't want to risk what might happen if I am put through this situation. And I feel somewhat terrible regardless! Because it's my personality! But I still feel terrible because I feel as though I'm still coming across as not wanting to become Christian and all that jazz... I do! Believe me when I say I do! But... Having someone else's beliefs shoved down my throat? Being asked questions and being treated like a primary school student getting a gold star when I answer correctly..? No... Just, please. No. I'm still sorry you're finding out this way as well but... I can't say it to your face. I'm yet to break down the barriers where I'm comfortable talking to you about anything and everything face to face... But, at the same time, I know a reason behind it is because I know you tell your Mum almost everything... And that's something that worries me. If I say something, and you go tell her, how will she take it? We may be back together... But everything else isn't over yet. I am driving myself insane trying to stay true to who I am, yet not ruffle any feathers with people in the church... I didn't realise how much this was still stressing me out until I started crying unexpectedly with [Bestiality] and [Genius!] under that pergola. It kind of hurt that you would offer such an idea to your Mum, when you should have known how much I would hate being in that position... Again; I know that you meant well and was just trying to find a solution, but it still stung a little...

But, umm, yeah... I'm gonna change the topic now to a more positive one...

So last night [Tenuto Tuo], [Clearly Unfocused], [Phantomess], myself and a friendly tag along went to see Legally Blonde the Musical! There were student deals being done so we ended up getting premium seats that would've normally cost us around $120 for $30 instead. The seats were amazing! As was the show!

I was curious to see how they were going to do a musical for LB; but I had nothing to worry about, as it was very well done! Lucy Durack was Elle Woods and was amazing as always. I'm pretty sure she even threw in a WICKED reference with the tossing of her hair :') Rob Mills was a great Warner, and David Harris... Oh David Harris... He was just so adorable, and amazing, and perfect, and I just wanted to run up and cuddle him and just ugh! Couldn't have asked for a better Emmett. And the rest of the cast was amazing as well :)

I got the vibe that the cast were really enjoying themselves last night as well. The overall atmosphere of the musical was vibrant, happy, and cheesy.. Without over doing it. By the end of it, we walked out of there feeling excessively happy and cheesy... As well as saying "Omigod, Omigod you guys!" and snapping our fingers a lot... Haha.

I ended up buying a program for the show (a tradition I will /hopefully/ never stop), aaand a black singlet that says "Omigod you guys!" in pink letters... I would've gone with the "Bend & Snap" if the singlet wasn't pink... Elle may suit pink, but I sure don't! :P

They also had dogs in the show! Bruiser the chihuahua, and Rufus the bulldog made appearances in the show. It was absolutely adorable. I think I literally melted in my seat when I saw Bruiser run on stage, get a treat from Lucy, then chill in her arm for half a scene. I did cringe a little at the though of all that noise going around them, and knowing how sensitive they are; but I wasn't too fazed as they were just too cute!

At the end of the show, when everyone was bowing and all that... They were all dancing around once everyone had been up; when David offered his hand to Lucy, to which she denied him and he acted all offended and everything. It was quite adorable... Cameron Daddo (who played Prof. Callahan) also did the bunny ears behind Rob Mills head, so everyone was clearly having a good mature time! :D

We also got a photo with David afterwards at Stage Door. We were one of the last actually; it was quite lucky, cause he was saying he needed to head off to everyone and we just kinda jumped in and half pleaded to get a photo haha. I swear it wasn't creepy at all guys... Although with [Phantomess]'s past with him, I'm surprised it wasn't ;P

So yeah... I don't really have much else to tell you! I'm home for a week long Easter holiday before going back and hitting the books and studying hard... [K-Dawg] is currently at Easterfest so we are having stinted, limited time talking to each other and I may be missing him just a tad... Like, maybe a bit more than a tad but whatever :P We shall see each other on Monday, so all will be well!

Hopefully I can stop needing to write venty blog posts about not offending others opinions and being able to stick to my own soon... But I can't really do that until people finally realise who I am as a person, and accept me, and don't want to change me! Or can at least keep their noses out of my business!

Until next time my little turtle doves.

~One thing nothing can destroy is our pride deep inside~