Hi guys!
Yeah... I'm back... Rambling about pointless stuff as I always am! Hopefully this blog post will be longer than the last one though; for the sake of a handful of people I know personally complaining at me that it was far too short for their liking! Who woulda known?! :P
So, again, not much has reaalllyy happened over the past week... A couple of major things I wish to discuss though, and hopefully I'll get through everything I want to talk about without forgetting half the things!
This was the last week of the first half of semester at my Uni. So a few of my classes were cut due to today being Good Friday, so our classes ended yesterday. Monday was uneventful. A total of three people attended choir rehearsal, then I went to the hall meeting as usual; with which I "died" shortly after. Remember the Assassination Game? Yeah, well.. I had a feeling that the study room was where my unknown killer had been assigned to get me... A new fresher friend of mine decided to push me into there anyway (having no idea who my killer was, or anything like that); and the next thing I know, I was "killed" by a textbook! Ha! Well... At least I don't need to be paranoid about someone trying to kill me all the time I guess. Save that for next semester, when it's inter-hall assassination... Even more potential killers, yaaaayyy! :P
Tuesday was nothing special... Which brings us to Wednesday, which is a completely different story!
So I was somewhat worrying over a decision I'd made a day or two before in regards to saying "yes" to a girl friend crashing my room that night after the club... You may wonder what the issue with allowing that is, considering it's just a girl friend.. Yeah? Yeah... Umm.. Hmm... This particular girl friend sorta kinda maybe has a lesbian-y kinda thing for me, especially under the influence of alcohol... Last year she found out I had never kissed a girl before and BAM! Next thing I knew, her lips were on mine. Now... I am not against same sex relationships, of any form. That's not my issue... My issue is that I am now in a devoted relationship; where I'm improving and becoming a better person from it, and always facing forward... Never going back to the past [Miss Invisible].
I know she has good intentions... But honestly... When drunk, she's rather hopeless. A couple of weeks back she was at the Shock Your Mum party; and as much as she said that she respects that I have a boyfriend and won't do anything etc... She still planted a couple of kisses on my cheek, and almost got me full on if I hadn't literally stepped back and half told her off for it. I don't know what is with that girl when it comes to me... I mean... I'm flattered, but... I have a boyfriend dearie! It just doesn't work that way! *Sigh*
Anyways... So after res sport (which was ultimate frisbee.. Which we won... Cause Pitt is the shit! Aww yeah! ;D) I went back to my room and got changed into a singlet, skirt & sneakers for Golf Pros & Tennis Hoes... My Uni has classy themes, I swear! :P Then went to the common room to pre-drink with my fellow Pittlings heading out. I am slightly ashamed to say that I drank a little more than I intended to initially... I didn't get drunk! I will forever stand by that! I don't want to ever get drunk! The thought terrifies me... But I'm not against having a few, maybe even getting a little tipsy (depending on my mood) and having a good time (not that I can't when I'm sober, but yeah) so... I ended up having a little over half a bottle of cheap wine within the space of, oh I dunno... An hour and a half ish? I was just in one of those moods where I wanted to drink and have a good time for once! And it was great! I was so happy, and dancy, and kicking ass at pool! I swear it was once I started "sobering up" was when my pool skills decreased again, and so did my mood strangely. All of a sudden I was in one of those kinds of moods where the slightest thing could set me off for no apparent reason. This made me thankful that the girl friend I mentioned earlier, didn't actually turn up that night... So relief could flood through me as I ruined [Bestiality]'s night by ranting my sudden emotional surge to her and ending up leaving the club early... I'm sorry girl! I knew how much you wanted to have a good time and as did I at first! :/
We then ended up underneath the pergola with the fresher friend I mentioned before who pushed me to my death... I should give you a name cause you're a new good friend that will probably become a regular on here now so.. Hmm... I shall dub you [Genius!] for now as imagination is running a little low... And when we get back to Uni, if you're against this nickname we can discuss a replacement.
Anyways... So it was us three girls under the pergola; [Bestiality] and I half way through a conversation that was thoroughly stressing me and upsetting me. The topic was along the lines of [Miss-Dawg] in a sense, but more related to church and where my beliefs are at. A day or two earlier, [Bestiality] was going around with a couple of people handing out Easter eggs. I took one happily without realising that there was a catch.. And that was too answer "What does Easter mean to you?". And that just locked me up. I froze and internally freaked out. The main thing that had me freaking out was that I was actually thinking about that earlier... I mean... Before I found God; Easter was just about chocolate for me, ya know? Chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate! And, even though I found Him a year or so ago, it's actually taken till now to start feeling significant changes with things such as holidays and things... And I was still coming to terms with what Easter meant to me... I can generally tell [Bestiality] anything; and I know she wouldn't of judged me or anything, but the fact that two other people were there froze me up. I know that they wouldn't have judged me either, most likely! But... The fact remains... I can't help that my impression of people and how they go round with their opinions has scarred me for life. Literally. I become a meek little lamb that just wants to bow her head and scoot out of the way without ruffling any feathers, but not lose her individuality either...
So there was that little scare earlier in the week... Then, at the club, I saw [Regal Pain] and his girlfriend dancing on the floor. I have no idea why it hit me then... But it did. Like a truck. I suddenly couldn't stand being anywhere near them. I couldn't stand being near the couple I deem so damn lucky to be able to do what they're able to do.
If they so wish; they can head over to the other half's room whenever they please and do whatever they please... Lie on the bed together, even if just talking! Cuddling. Falling asleep together. Sure; they do all the sexual things as well, but I'm not fazed about that part. If both sides of the relationship are 150% firm with their beliefs and morals that nothing will happen; then nothing will happen! It's as simple as that! Temptation may come walking by, but it's not difficult to put your foot down if things seem like they might go somewhere... Heck. I probably can't even dance like they were together... Flirtatiously close and all that... Not gonna lie: a part of me really wants to do that. Just have fun dancing with my partner... Not having to worry about what other people think for once. But no... When's that gonna happen?! Probably never!
And now to what's always grinding my gears to the point where I'm almost constantly upset or stressing...
[K-Dawg]... I know I haven't really mentioned this to you... I've been so happy about us getting back together, and whenever we're talking I'm too happy to think about it then... But that night after the club; I came to a realisation, and I couldn't help but get upset.
I mentioned earlier about how I froze up at being asked what Easter means to me... I am not a fan of answering questions that "have no right or wrong answer", aka opinionated questions. I'm a logical thinker. I answer with what is considered right by fact, etc etc. So when it comes to questions to do with religion and what I believe and everything like that. I loathe it. It literally tears me up inside. I almost become the person I try so hard not to be. The autistic monster in me wants to leap out, and that's never a good thing... You saw my face when your Mum was asking me the questions on Friday night... To be honest? I internally shuddered when she said to me "That makes you a Christian!". I have nothing against your Mum, and you know that... But the way she said that? Made me feel like I was a primary school student, and she was my proud teacher. I shouldn't be feeling like this. I shouldn't have too... But then what did you do? You went and got that One2One guide.
I didn't want to even touch it after I read parts of it. It was basically saying things like "giving new Christians the 'right start'" and it had questions... Questions... After every chapter... I know that this was just an idea... I know what you meant by it... I know you wouldn't have thought of it that way, or I don't honestly know what you were thinking! But all I could think of was the torture I may possibly go through... Meeting up with your Mum every week or so for "coffee". You have no idea how close I was to losing it that night when she put me on the spot with that fricking "pop quiz"... I really don't want to risk what might happen if I am put through this situation. And I feel somewhat terrible regardless! Because it's my personality! But I still feel terrible because I feel as though I'm still coming across as not wanting to become Christian and all that jazz... I do! Believe me when I say I do! But... Having someone else's beliefs shoved down my throat? Being asked questions and being treated like a primary school student getting a gold star when I answer correctly..? No... Just, please. No. I'm still sorry you're finding out this way as well but... I can't say it to your face. I'm yet to break down the barriers where I'm comfortable talking to you about anything and everything face to face... But, at the same time, I know a reason behind it is because I know you tell your Mum almost everything... And that's something that worries me. If I say something, and you go tell her, how will she take it? We may be back together... But everything else isn't over yet. I am driving myself insane trying to stay true to who I am, yet not ruffle any feathers with people in the church... I didn't realise how much this was still stressing me out until I started crying unexpectedly with [Bestiality] and [Genius!] under that pergola. It kind of hurt that you would offer such an idea to your Mum, when you should have known how much I would hate being in that position... Again; I know that you meant well and was just trying to find a solution, but it still stung a little...
But, umm, yeah... I'm gonna change the topic now to a more positive one...
So last night [Tenuto Tuo], [Clearly Unfocused], [Phantomess], myself and a friendly tag along went to see Legally Blonde the Musical! There were student deals being done so we ended up getting premium seats that would've normally cost us around $120 for $30 instead. The seats were amazing! As was the show!
I was curious to see how they were going to do a musical for LB; but I had nothing to worry about, as it was very well done! Lucy Durack was Elle Woods and was amazing as always. I'm pretty sure she even threw in a WICKED reference with the tossing of her hair :') Rob Mills was a great Warner, and David Harris... Oh David Harris... He was just so adorable, and amazing, and perfect, and I just wanted to run up and cuddle him and just ugh! Couldn't have asked for a better Emmett. And the rest of the cast was amazing as well :)
I got the vibe that the cast were really enjoying themselves last night as well. The overall atmosphere of the musical was vibrant, happy, and cheesy.. Without over doing it. By the end of it, we walked out of there feeling excessively happy and cheesy... As well as saying "Omigod, Omigod you guys!" and snapping our fingers a lot... Haha.
I ended up buying a program for the show (a tradition I will /hopefully/ never stop), aaand a black singlet that says "Omigod you guys!" in pink letters... I would've gone with the "Bend & Snap" if the singlet wasn't pink... Elle may suit pink, but I sure don't! :P
They also had dogs in the show! Bruiser the chihuahua, and Rufus the bulldog made appearances in the show. It was absolutely adorable. I think I literally melted in my seat when I saw Bruiser run on stage, get a treat from Lucy, then chill in her arm for half a scene. I did cringe a little at the though of all that noise going around them, and knowing how sensitive they are; but I wasn't too fazed as they were just too cute!
At the end of the show, when everyone was bowing and all that... They were all dancing around once everyone had been up; when David offered his hand to Lucy, to which she denied him and he acted all offended and everything. It was quite adorable... Cameron Daddo (who played Prof. Callahan) also did the bunny ears behind Rob Mills head, so everyone was clearly having a good mature time! :D
We also got a photo with David afterwards at Stage Door. We were one of the last actually; it was quite lucky, cause he was saying he needed to head off to everyone and we just kinda jumped in and half pleaded to get a photo haha. I swear it wasn't creepy at all guys... Although with [Phantomess]'s past with him, I'm surprised it wasn't ;P
So yeah... I don't really have much else to tell you! I'm home for a week long Easter holiday before going back and hitting the books and studying hard... [K-Dawg] is currently at Easterfest so we are having stinted, limited time talking to each other and I may be missing him just a tad... Like, maybe a bit more than a tad but whatever :P We shall see each other on Monday, so all will be well!
Hopefully I can stop needing to write venty blog posts about not offending others opinions and being able to stick to my own soon... But I can't really do that until people finally realise who I am as a person, and accept me, and don't want to change me! Or can at least keep their noses out of my business!
Until next time my little turtle doves.
~One thing nothing can destroy is our pride deep inside~
Yeah... I'm back... Rambling about pointless stuff as I always am! Hopefully this blog post will be longer than the last one though; for the sake of a handful of people I know personally complaining at me that it was far too short for their liking! Who woulda known?! :P
So, again, not much has reaalllyy happened over the past week... A couple of major things I wish to discuss though, and hopefully I'll get through everything I want to talk about without forgetting half the things!
This was the last week of the first half of semester at my Uni. So a few of my classes were cut due to today being Good Friday, so our classes ended yesterday. Monday was uneventful. A total of three people attended choir rehearsal, then I went to the hall meeting as usual; with which I "died" shortly after. Remember the Assassination Game? Yeah, well.. I had a feeling that the study room was where my unknown killer had been assigned to get me... A new fresher friend of mine decided to push me into there anyway (having no idea who my killer was, or anything like that); and the next thing I know, I was "killed" by a textbook! Ha! Well... At least I don't need to be paranoid about someone trying to kill me all the time I guess. Save that for next semester, when it's inter-hall assassination... Even more potential killers, yaaaayyy! :P
Tuesday was nothing special... Which brings us to Wednesday, which is a completely different story!
So I was somewhat worrying over a decision I'd made a day or two before in regards to saying "yes" to a girl friend crashing my room that night after the club... You may wonder what the issue with allowing that is, considering it's just a girl friend.. Yeah? Yeah... Umm.. Hmm... This particular girl friend sorta kinda maybe has a lesbian-y kinda thing for me, especially under the influence of alcohol... Last year she found out I had never kissed a girl before and BAM! Next thing I knew, her lips were on mine. Now... I am not against same sex relationships, of any form. That's not my issue... My issue is that I am now in a devoted relationship; where I'm improving and becoming a better person from it, and always facing forward... Never going back to the past [Miss Invisible].
I know she has good intentions... But honestly... When drunk, she's rather hopeless. A couple of weeks back she was at the Shock Your Mum party; and as much as she said that she respects that I have a boyfriend and won't do anything etc... She still planted a couple of kisses on my cheek, and almost got me full on if I hadn't literally stepped back and half told her off for it. I don't know what is with that girl when it comes to me... I mean... I'm flattered, but... I have a boyfriend dearie! It just doesn't work that way! *Sigh*
Anyways... So after res sport (which was ultimate frisbee.. Which we won... Cause Pitt is the shit! Aww yeah! ;D) I went back to my room and got changed into a singlet, skirt & sneakers for Golf Pros & Tennis Hoes... My Uni has classy themes, I swear! :P Then went to the common room to pre-drink with my fellow Pittlings heading out. I am slightly ashamed to say that I drank a little more than I intended to initially... I didn't get drunk! I will forever stand by that! I don't want to ever get drunk! The thought terrifies me... But I'm not against having a few, maybe even getting a little tipsy (depending on my mood) and having a good time (not that I can't when I'm sober, but yeah) so... I ended up having a little over half a bottle of cheap wine within the space of, oh I dunno... An hour and a half ish? I was just in one of those moods where I wanted to drink and have a good time for once! And it was great! I was so happy, and dancy, and kicking ass at pool! I swear it was once I started "sobering up" was when my pool skills decreased again, and so did my mood strangely. All of a sudden I was in one of those kinds of moods where the slightest thing could set me off for no apparent reason. This made me thankful that the girl friend I mentioned earlier, didn't actually turn up that night... So relief could flood through me as I ruined [Bestiality]'s night by ranting my sudden emotional surge to her and ending up leaving the club early... I'm sorry girl! I knew how much you wanted to have a good time and as did I at first! :/
We then ended up underneath the pergola with the fresher friend I mentioned before who pushed me to my death... I should give you a name cause you're a new good friend that will probably become a regular on here now so.. Hmm... I shall dub you [Genius!] for now as imagination is running a little low... And when we get back to Uni, if you're against this nickname we can discuss a replacement.
Anyways... So it was us three girls under the pergola; [Bestiality] and I half way through a conversation that was thoroughly stressing me and upsetting me. The topic was along the lines of [Miss-Dawg] in a sense, but more related to church and where my beliefs are at. A day or two earlier, [Bestiality] was going around with a couple of people handing out Easter eggs. I took one happily without realising that there was a catch.. And that was too answer "What does Easter mean to you?". And that just locked me up. I froze and internally freaked out. The main thing that had me freaking out was that I was actually thinking about that earlier... I mean... Before I found God; Easter was just about chocolate for me, ya know? Chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate! And, even though I found Him a year or so ago, it's actually taken till now to start feeling significant changes with things such as holidays and things... And I was still coming to terms with what Easter meant to me... I can generally tell [Bestiality] anything; and I know she wouldn't of judged me or anything, but the fact that two other people were there froze me up. I know that they wouldn't have judged me either, most likely! But... The fact remains... I can't help that my impression of people and how they go round with their opinions has scarred me for life. Literally. I become a meek little lamb that just wants to bow her head and scoot out of the way without ruffling any feathers, but not lose her individuality either...
So there was that little scare earlier in the week... Then, at the club, I saw [Regal Pain] and his girlfriend dancing on the floor. I have no idea why it hit me then... But it did. Like a truck. I suddenly couldn't stand being anywhere near them. I couldn't stand being near the couple I deem so damn lucky to be able to do what they're able to do.
If they so wish; they can head over to the other half's room whenever they please and do whatever they please... Lie on the bed together, even if just talking! Cuddling. Falling asleep together. Sure; they do all the sexual things as well, but I'm not fazed about that part. If both sides of the relationship are 150% firm with their beliefs and morals that nothing will happen; then nothing will happen! It's as simple as that! Temptation may come walking by, but it's not difficult to put your foot down if things seem like they might go somewhere... Heck. I probably can't even dance like they were together... Flirtatiously close and all that... Not gonna lie: a part of me really wants to do that. Just have fun dancing with my partner... Not having to worry about what other people think for once. But no... When's that gonna happen?! Probably never!
And now to what's always grinding my gears to the point where I'm almost constantly upset or stressing...
[K-Dawg]... I know I haven't really mentioned this to you... I've been so happy about us getting back together, and whenever we're talking I'm too happy to think about it then... But that night after the club; I came to a realisation, and I couldn't help but get upset.
I mentioned earlier about how I froze up at being asked what Easter means to me... I am not a fan of answering questions that "have no right or wrong answer", aka opinionated questions. I'm a logical thinker. I answer with what is considered right by fact, etc etc. So when it comes to questions to do with religion and what I believe and everything like that. I loathe it. It literally tears me up inside. I almost become the person I try so hard not to be. The autistic monster in me wants to leap out, and that's never a good thing... You saw my face when your Mum was asking me the questions on Friday night... To be honest? I internally shuddered when she said to me "That makes you a Christian!". I have nothing against your Mum, and you know that... But the way she said that? Made me feel like I was a primary school student, and she was my proud teacher. I shouldn't be feeling like this. I shouldn't have too... But then what did you do? You went and got that One2One guide.
I didn't want to even touch it after I read parts of it. It was basically saying things like "giving new Christians the 'right start'" and it had questions... Questions... After every chapter... I know that this was just an idea... I know what you meant by it... I know you wouldn't have thought of it that way, or I don't honestly know what you were thinking! But all I could think of was the torture I may possibly go through... Meeting up with your Mum every week or so for "coffee". You have no idea how close I was to losing it that night when she put me on the spot with that fricking "pop quiz"... I really don't want to risk what might happen if I am put through this situation. And I feel somewhat terrible regardless! Because it's my personality! But I still feel terrible because I feel as though I'm still coming across as not wanting to become Christian and all that jazz... I do! Believe me when I say I do! But... Having someone else's beliefs shoved down my throat? Being asked questions and being treated like a primary school student getting a gold star when I answer correctly..? No... Just, please. No. I'm still sorry you're finding out this way as well but... I can't say it to your face. I'm yet to break down the barriers where I'm comfortable talking to you about anything and everything face to face... But, at the same time, I know a reason behind it is because I know you tell your Mum almost everything... And that's something that worries me. If I say something, and you go tell her, how will she take it? We may be back together... But everything else isn't over yet. I am driving myself insane trying to stay true to who I am, yet not ruffle any feathers with people in the church... I didn't realise how much this was still stressing me out until I started crying unexpectedly with [Bestiality] and [Genius!] under that pergola. It kind of hurt that you would offer such an idea to your Mum, when you should have known how much I would hate being in that position... Again; I know that you meant well and was just trying to find a solution, but it still stung a little...
But, umm, yeah... I'm gonna change the topic now to a more positive one...
So last night [Tenuto Tuo], [Clearly Unfocused], [Phantomess], myself and a friendly tag along went to see Legally Blonde the Musical! There were student deals being done so we ended up getting premium seats that would've normally cost us around $120 for $30 instead. The seats were amazing! As was the show!
I was curious to see how they were going to do a musical for LB; but I had nothing to worry about, as it was very well done! Lucy Durack was Elle Woods and was amazing as always. I'm pretty sure she even threw in a WICKED reference with the tossing of her hair :') Rob Mills was a great Warner, and David Harris... Oh David Harris... He was just so adorable, and amazing, and perfect, and I just wanted to run up and cuddle him and just ugh! Couldn't have asked for a better Emmett. And the rest of the cast was amazing as well :)
I got the vibe that the cast were really enjoying themselves last night as well. The overall atmosphere of the musical was vibrant, happy, and cheesy.. Without over doing it. By the end of it, we walked out of there feeling excessively happy and cheesy... As well as saying "Omigod, Omigod you guys!" and snapping our fingers a lot... Haha.
I ended up buying a program for the show (a tradition I will /hopefully/ never stop), aaand a black singlet that says "Omigod you guys!" in pink letters... I would've gone with the "Bend & Snap" if the singlet wasn't pink... Elle may suit pink, but I sure don't! :P
They also had dogs in the show! Bruiser the chihuahua, and Rufus the bulldog made appearances in the show. It was absolutely adorable. I think I literally melted in my seat when I saw Bruiser run on stage, get a treat from Lucy, then chill in her arm for half a scene. I did cringe a little at the though of all that noise going around them, and knowing how sensitive they are; but I wasn't too fazed as they were just too cute!
At the end of the show, when everyone was bowing and all that... They were all dancing around once everyone had been up; when David offered his hand to Lucy, to which she denied him and he acted all offended and everything. It was quite adorable... Cameron Daddo (who played Prof. Callahan) also did the bunny ears behind Rob Mills head, so everyone was clearly having a good mature time! :D
We also got a photo with David afterwards at Stage Door. We were one of the last actually; it was quite lucky, cause he was saying he needed to head off to everyone and we just kinda jumped in and half pleaded to get a photo haha. I swear it wasn't creepy at all guys... Although with [Phantomess]'s past with him, I'm surprised it wasn't ;P
So yeah... I don't really have much else to tell you! I'm home for a week long Easter holiday before going back and hitting the books and studying hard... [K-Dawg] is currently at Easterfest so we are having stinted, limited time talking to each other and I may be missing him just a tad... Like, maybe a bit more than a tad but whatever :P We shall see each other on Monday, so all will be well!
Hopefully I can stop needing to write venty blog posts about not offending others opinions and being able to stick to my own soon... But I can't really do that until people finally realise who I am as a person, and accept me, and don't want to change me! Or can at least keep their noses out of my business!
Until next time my little turtle doves.
~One thing nothing can destroy is our pride deep inside~
No comments:
Post a Comment