*Ignores the judging stares as I, again, have taken forever to write another blog post*
Well hello!
So I just came out of the first meeting for this year's MTV video, and I'm pumped, and I'm wanting to write a post.. So here it is! Woo!
I'M NOW BALD! Just to remind y'all who read my blog two posts back, where I said I was raising money for the Leukaemia Foundation and shaving my head for it and everything... Yeah... I've been bald for two weeks now, and I'm nowhere near getting used to it!
I still have the sensation of having hair on my head, so I keep going around thinking I'm perfectly normal; until the multitudes of people stare at me and I remember and start feeling all self conscious. I'm not a fan of it, not gonna lie... It was interesting though, because the shock of having no hair anymore didn't hit me until around a day after the shaving occurred... In the shower (images out of your minds perverts), when I went to wash my hair... By just throwing my head under the water (saving money on shampoo and conditioner is an awesome bonus right now heh), and I almost broke down into tears. So yeah... Newest life adjustment is proving to be interesting... But through all the staring and people mistaking me to be a guy at times, I do have supportive people and comments that I still look good/beautiful/etc so... Thank goodness for those guys, otherwise I'd really be unhappy with my current hairdo right now!
I ended up raising just over $2,000 which is absolutely amazing! I couldn't be happier with that effort. I was also the first person who went for the 0 option when shaving. There were guys there opting for the 1 blade, but I went all the way. First girl who lit the way for the two other girls who did it as well. Can't help but feel accomplished over that ;)
Okay.. Let's back track to anything else that's happened over the last month or so...
I went to my old school to pick me brother up one afternoon and found that it was the most at peace I had ever been since leaving. Why? Because everyone who was involved, in any way, with causing me grief in the past was no longer a student there. I could walk up to the front of the grounds and not be afraid that [Riot!] could walk around the corner at any moment with his friends and I would have to deal with the awkward avoidance from him and the death glares from everyone around him. Regardless of my side of the story, or how I feel about things... I will, most likely, always be despised by them; and it hurts, a lot. I still miss [Riot!] and probably always will. He was in my life for a short period of time, but he was one of my closest friends; even before our relationship began. So it kills me that he thinks of me the way he does, because of the messy break up formed on a lot of misunderstanding and not talking things through... So yeah. It was nice to be able to stand on the grounds and not be paranoid for once. It instead gave me a chance to be nostalgic, which almost resulted in me crying... Would've been a good look, I'm sure :P
I miss my school friends. I mean... School makes it so easy to communicate with each other. You physically see each other day after day, so you talk and have fun. But after school? It's up to you to get in contact with your friends, and we all get lazy at some point or other... The awesome thing with my friends is that, whenever we do catch up it's like nothing has ever really changed. But outside of that? I barely communicate with them... It's not that I don't want too either! It's just awkward, I guess... In the sense that I'm used to talking to them in person, so through social media is weird for me to use to talk to them. Whereas, I have friends I'll communicate with more on social media than I do in person... And I guess that's dependent on how I met them, and/or how far away they live, or whatever...
One thing I've found recently is that.. I'm finding things out about my friends, but not by them directly. I'm finding out through other means. For instance, I found out recently that one of my friends is trans, and wants to be known as that. I get that it's a personal decision that would be difficult to bring up, and I'm not angry for finding out this way.. The thing that makes it difficult with finding out this way is that I then have absolutely no idea how to talk to them about it. Because I want to show support! I want to let that friend know that I love them regardless and want to be there for them... But how do I do that? Say "Hey, I was scrolling through social media and stumbled across this... Go you!" (Or something like that) Ya know... I find things like this hard. But hopefully, when we all catch up soon to watch Eurovision together; I can chat to everyone and let that friend know how I feel and all that jazz... Until then, I'll chill on social media and be as clueless as ever :P
I should move on... Move on to the Sydney trip...
SYDNEY!!!
Omgosh... Words can't even begin to explain this trip, like seriously. [K-Dawg] and I had the time of our lives in just three days, and I am constantly reliving it in my head and wanting to go back. Sydney itself, isn't overly fantastic... I mean, there are better places in the world that I want to get too eventually. But the two of us having complete freedom and fun, getting lost or whatever... Having no care in the world! That's what made it the best trip I have ever had so far.
We arrived and met our roommates at the backpackers we were staying at, who are absolutely amazing people! I would love to meet up with them again in the future! Downside: we can't remember their names... But minor details ;P They were wonderful people who shouted us dinner one night, and shared stories with us; which was comforting to us, as we were staying in a relatively dodgy backpackers... Made us feel safer sleeping at night, that was for sure :P
We had froyo at least twice during the trip... We couldn't help ourselves! But we also spent pretty much all three of the days just walking around different parts of the city. Our legs were absolutely dead by the end of it, but it was worth it. We got through a fair few of the sights and sounds of the city, and had a ball doing it. I also took [K-Dawg] to a games exhibition, where we wasted time playing games from when they first began to the games that are being produced nowadays. Classic Donkey Kong and Pacman... Really bad SingStar... A game that was created just for the exhibition... So many!!!
But the definite highlight of the weekend was the reason why we were there... And that was The Lion King Musical. Again... No words to explain... But it is now, hands down, the number one musical I have ever seen. I'm sorry Wicked, but you have been replaced...
We had the original woman playing Rafiki and she was more amazing live then on the recording... We had a guy debut his musical career as Simba, and he used to be a rugby player... No doubts were needed though, as he was absolutely amazing! Everything and everyone was breathtaking. [K-Dawg] and I were crying multiple times throughout... Out of emotion and laughter! You never knew what to feel because of the constant mood changes. It was so good, but so emotionally taxing haha! Being able to see the percussionists either side playing was awesome, along with animals coming through the audience during some scenes... The only regret I have is not pushing to find the stage door afterwards... But the usher I asked about it seemed hesitant and advised me against it, as well as the company we were with were wanting to have dinner as well... Next time I am definitely not going to leave it though!
... After that weekend, I really haven't up too anything interesting haha. Well, not so much in my eyes anyway ;P
I was mostly working as much as possible to save money to afford Halls fees this year, which is proving to be very difficult... But I'm hoping I can do it!
My mum took me out recently on a girls night to go see The Naked Magicians. ...Which was quite interesting to say the least.
Although, they weren't actually as naked as the title would suggest. In fact, for most of the show they were actually clothed. It wasn't until the last couple of tricks (in an hour long show) that one of the two got naked (you didn't see everything guys, his privates were always covered) and the second only got naked right at the end for the bow pretty much. Granted, it was still a good show. Very funny with a large amount of audience participation.
A little after that, I recorded my very first song... Which was terrifying! But yeah, I did a cover of If I Die Young by The Band Perry and that was in support of me trying to get funds for the shave... Don't think that got me donations as such, but it has some views now and I think I did alright I guess *Shrugs* Just don't ask [K-Dawg] cause he's biased.. ;P
But yeah, it was interesting to hear my voice playback to me for the first time... I really didn't like it to be honest haha. It sounds so much different to what I think I sound like. I feel like I have so much power behind it, and really I'm just wispy and meh. So it was a shock to find that out haha... Gonna have to work on it for sure!
I'm now back on Halls (obviously) and yeah... Back in Pitt. As much as I was saying in previous posts that I'm not so fond of Pitt anymore and want to move to Thynne, I find myself slowly back pedaling on those words... Last year was pretty terrible for me at Halls. The freshers weren't overly friendly so fitting in was hard. But this year's freshers and the hall overall, is making me fall back in love with Pitt. It's reminding me of why I fell in love first year... The longer I stay here, the more I want to stay; so yeah, I have a feeling I'm gonna stick it out and be a true Pittling for my third and final year.
I am also now a stage manager at my church! It's not an overly difficult job really... I just carry the pulpit on and off stage (since we have our services in a university lecture theatre) and hand the microphones over to whoever needs them and when. The main bonus to it is I get to wear a headset which is the communication between myself and everyone else on the production team. I never realised how much was behind the scenes, until I became a stage manager and was listening to the camera people talking to each other; competing with the people on lighting and/or sound. But it's quite fun at times, especially when sneaking in jokes to each other throughout the service... ;)
Apart from all of that, the only other recent thing that has happened to me would be the incident that occurred just yesterday at church.
We had a guest preacher who had been giving messages all weekend, but I only attended the last session which was the Sunday morning. His message went about 10-15 minutes over time he was that enthused about what he was talking about, and then for about an hour afterward a session started up... The young youth were at the front being filled with the Holy Spirit, as well as other people just praying and/or soaking in the atmosphere. Random people were being pointed out by the speaker as well who he felt pulled to pray/bless. I was pretty darn tired that day and I was just sitting down watching everything go down (while everyone else was standing). I had had a bad night the previous night and sleep had sucked, so I was just like "eh". But after the speaker had spoken healing over one woman, and given visions to another; he pointed me out and asked me to walk down to the front. It was unexpected, and threw me... I was scared about what he was going to tell me as well. I was anxious that he'd bring up that I looked upset or something and I'd have to explain or something... Thankfully it wasn't like that at all. He was just getting visions and prophesying over me, and the things he said just blew me away. I wrote down what I could remember later after this all happened... So it's not in complete sentences as he would've said it... But I'll give you the basic gist of what was spoken over me.
"Dancing at the front of the room, as a form of expression ~during worship?~.
Sees me on a stage
Involved in arts & entertainment - movies, film, etc.
Can see me in front and behind a camera lens
I will go to places the church would not dare
I'll be fighting lions
I will be seen by many people, and not so much heard. Though I will have a voice
I will be giving identity to people
I have inheritance over something already... (That part was hazy. I just remember the word inheritance)
I don't need to work very hard to get to where I'm headed. Most people need to go through points A, B, C, D, E etc... But God has basically said 'just go for it'.."
For me, the things he was saying to me were crazy. The man had never met me, ever. Only found out my name as I walked down the front and told him... I'm still new to all of this, but I can't help but be excited. I mean... By what he said... I can link it to my dreams of being in musical theatre and/or being on YouTube making covers of people's songs... Not everything he said made sense, but I guess that's to be expected... And I don't know what to make of everything that was said. But considering the words I received when I was baptised awhile back as well... Princess and the picture of a rainbow as well, meaning that promises will be fulfilled... I can't help but feel as though my dreams are maybe not dreams after all. That they might actually be promises for me, and I might actually get there. Who knows... I definitely still have "lions" to fight in terms of personal issues like self confidence and everything... But who knows. Maybe it all just means I'll be singing up the front of the church and that's it. Even if it is just that, I would be fairly happy with my life. But yeah... I honestly have no idea what to think of it all, and my brain is struggling to figure it out. I'm just gonna try and stop trying to work it out, and just let life live it's course... Gonna be hard to do, that's for sure!
I'm pretty sure I've ranted enough now... Hehe. Whoops...
~Love is ___~
Well hello!
So I just came out of the first meeting for this year's MTV video, and I'm pumped, and I'm wanting to write a post.. So here it is! Woo!
I'M NOW BALD! Just to remind y'all who read my blog two posts back, where I said I was raising money for the Leukaemia Foundation and shaving my head for it and everything... Yeah... I've been bald for two weeks now, and I'm nowhere near getting used to it!
I still have the sensation of having hair on my head, so I keep going around thinking I'm perfectly normal; until the multitudes of people stare at me and I remember and start feeling all self conscious. I'm not a fan of it, not gonna lie... It was interesting though, because the shock of having no hair anymore didn't hit me until around a day after the shaving occurred... In the shower (images out of your minds perverts), when I went to wash my hair... By just throwing my head under the water (saving money on shampoo and conditioner is an awesome bonus right now heh), and I almost broke down into tears. So yeah... Newest life adjustment is proving to be interesting... But through all the staring and people mistaking me to be a guy at times, I do have supportive people and comments that I still look good/beautiful/etc so... Thank goodness for those guys, otherwise I'd really be unhappy with my current hairdo right now!
I ended up raising just over $2,000 which is absolutely amazing! I couldn't be happier with that effort. I was also the first person who went for the 0 option when shaving. There were guys there opting for the 1 blade, but I went all the way. First girl who lit the way for the two other girls who did it as well. Can't help but feel accomplished over that ;)
Okay.. Let's back track to anything else that's happened over the last month or so...
I went to my old school to pick me brother up one afternoon and found that it was the most at peace I had ever been since leaving. Why? Because everyone who was involved, in any way, with causing me grief in the past was no longer a student there. I could walk up to the front of the grounds and not be afraid that [Riot!] could walk around the corner at any moment with his friends and I would have to deal with the awkward avoidance from him and the death glares from everyone around him. Regardless of my side of the story, or how I feel about things... I will, most likely, always be despised by them; and it hurts, a lot. I still miss [Riot!] and probably always will. He was in my life for a short period of time, but he was one of my closest friends; even before our relationship began. So it kills me that he thinks of me the way he does, because of the messy break up formed on a lot of misunderstanding and not talking things through... So yeah. It was nice to be able to stand on the grounds and not be paranoid for once. It instead gave me a chance to be nostalgic, which almost resulted in me crying... Would've been a good look, I'm sure :P
I miss my school friends. I mean... School makes it so easy to communicate with each other. You physically see each other day after day, so you talk and have fun. But after school? It's up to you to get in contact with your friends, and we all get lazy at some point or other... The awesome thing with my friends is that, whenever we do catch up it's like nothing has ever really changed. But outside of that? I barely communicate with them... It's not that I don't want too either! It's just awkward, I guess... In the sense that I'm used to talking to them in person, so through social media is weird for me to use to talk to them. Whereas, I have friends I'll communicate with more on social media than I do in person... And I guess that's dependent on how I met them, and/or how far away they live, or whatever...
One thing I've found recently is that.. I'm finding things out about my friends, but not by them directly. I'm finding out through other means. For instance, I found out recently that one of my friends is trans, and wants to be known as that. I get that it's a personal decision that would be difficult to bring up, and I'm not angry for finding out this way.. The thing that makes it difficult with finding out this way is that I then have absolutely no idea how to talk to them about it. Because I want to show support! I want to let that friend know that I love them regardless and want to be there for them... But how do I do that? Say "Hey, I was scrolling through social media and stumbled across this... Go you!" (Or something like that) Ya know... I find things like this hard. But hopefully, when we all catch up soon to watch Eurovision together; I can chat to everyone and let that friend know how I feel and all that jazz... Until then, I'll chill on social media and be as clueless as ever :P
I should move on... Move on to the Sydney trip...
SYDNEY!!!
Omgosh... Words can't even begin to explain this trip, like seriously. [K-Dawg] and I had the time of our lives in just three days, and I am constantly reliving it in my head and wanting to go back. Sydney itself, isn't overly fantastic... I mean, there are better places in the world that I want to get too eventually. But the two of us having complete freedom and fun, getting lost or whatever... Having no care in the world! That's what made it the best trip I have ever had so far.
We arrived and met our roommates at the backpackers we were staying at, who are absolutely amazing people! I would love to meet up with them again in the future! Downside: we can't remember their names... But minor details ;P They were wonderful people who shouted us dinner one night, and shared stories with us; which was comforting to us, as we were staying in a relatively dodgy backpackers... Made us feel safer sleeping at night, that was for sure :P
We had froyo at least twice during the trip... We couldn't help ourselves! But we also spent pretty much all three of the days just walking around different parts of the city. Our legs were absolutely dead by the end of it, but it was worth it. We got through a fair few of the sights and sounds of the city, and had a ball doing it. I also took [K-Dawg] to a games exhibition, where we wasted time playing games from when they first began to the games that are being produced nowadays. Classic Donkey Kong and Pacman... Really bad SingStar... A game that was created just for the exhibition... So many!!!
But the definite highlight of the weekend was the reason why we were there... And that was The Lion King Musical. Again... No words to explain... But it is now, hands down, the number one musical I have ever seen. I'm sorry Wicked, but you have been replaced...
We had the original woman playing Rafiki and she was more amazing live then on the recording... We had a guy debut his musical career as Simba, and he used to be a rugby player... No doubts were needed though, as he was absolutely amazing! Everything and everyone was breathtaking. [K-Dawg] and I were crying multiple times throughout... Out of emotion and laughter! You never knew what to feel because of the constant mood changes. It was so good, but so emotionally taxing haha! Being able to see the percussionists either side playing was awesome, along with animals coming through the audience during some scenes... The only regret I have is not pushing to find the stage door afterwards... But the usher I asked about it seemed hesitant and advised me against it, as well as the company we were with were wanting to have dinner as well... Next time I am definitely not going to leave it though!
... After that weekend, I really haven't up too anything interesting haha. Well, not so much in my eyes anyway ;P
I was mostly working as much as possible to save money to afford Halls fees this year, which is proving to be very difficult... But I'm hoping I can do it!
My mum took me out recently on a girls night to go see The Naked Magicians. ...Which was quite interesting to say the least.
Although, they weren't actually as naked as the title would suggest. In fact, for most of the show they were actually clothed. It wasn't until the last couple of tricks (in an hour long show) that one of the two got naked (you didn't see everything guys, his privates were always covered) and the second only got naked right at the end for the bow pretty much. Granted, it was still a good show. Very funny with a large amount of audience participation.
A little after that, I recorded my very first song... Which was terrifying! But yeah, I did a cover of If I Die Young by The Band Perry and that was in support of me trying to get funds for the shave... Don't think that got me donations as such, but it has some views now and I think I did alright I guess *Shrugs* Just don't ask [K-Dawg] cause he's biased.. ;P
But yeah, it was interesting to hear my voice playback to me for the first time... I really didn't like it to be honest haha. It sounds so much different to what I think I sound like. I feel like I have so much power behind it, and really I'm just wispy and meh. So it was a shock to find that out haha... Gonna have to work on it for sure!
I'm now back on Halls (obviously) and yeah... Back in Pitt. As much as I was saying in previous posts that I'm not so fond of Pitt anymore and want to move to Thynne, I find myself slowly back pedaling on those words... Last year was pretty terrible for me at Halls. The freshers weren't overly friendly so fitting in was hard. But this year's freshers and the hall overall, is making me fall back in love with Pitt. It's reminding me of why I fell in love first year... The longer I stay here, the more I want to stay; so yeah, I have a feeling I'm gonna stick it out and be a true Pittling for my third and final year.
I am also now a stage manager at my church! It's not an overly difficult job really... I just carry the pulpit on and off stage (since we have our services in a university lecture theatre) and hand the microphones over to whoever needs them and when. The main bonus to it is I get to wear a headset which is the communication between myself and everyone else on the production team. I never realised how much was behind the scenes, until I became a stage manager and was listening to the camera people talking to each other; competing with the people on lighting and/or sound. But it's quite fun at times, especially when sneaking in jokes to each other throughout the service... ;)
Apart from all of that, the only other recent thing that has happened to me would be the incident that occurred just yesterday at church.
We had a guest preacher who had been giving messages all weekend, but I only attended the last session which was the Sunday morning. His message went about 10-15 minutes over time he was that enthused about what he was talking about, and then for about an hour afterward a session started up... The young youth were at the front being filled with the Holy Spirit, as well as other people just praying and/or soaking in the atmosphere. Random people were being pointed out by the speaker as well who he felt pulled to pray/bless. I was pretty darn tired that day and I was just sitting down watching everything go down (while everyone else was standing). I had had a bad night the previous night and sleep had sucked, so I was just like "eh". But after the speaker had spoken healing over one woman, and given visions to another; he pointed me out and asked me to walk down to the front. It was unexpected, and threw me... I was scared about what he was going to tell me as well. I was anxious that he'd bring up that I looked upset or something and I'd have to explain or something... Thankfully it wasn't like that at all. He was just getting visions and prophesying over me, and the things he said just blew me away. I wrote down what I could remember later after this all happened... So it's not in complete sentences as he would've said it... But I'll give you the basic gist of what was spoken over me.
"Dancing at the front of the room, as a form of expression ~during worship?~.
Sees me on a stage
Involved in arts & entertainment - movies, film, etc.
Can see me in front and behind a camera lens
I will go to places the church would not dare
I'll be fighting lions
I will be seen by many people, and not so much heard. Though I will have a voice
I will be giving identity to people
I have inheritance over something already... (That part was hazy. I just remember the word inheritance)
I don't need to work very hard to get to where I'm headed. Most people need to go through points A, B, C, D, E etc... But God has basically said 'just go for it'.."
For me, the things he was saying to me were crazy. The man had never met me, ever. Only found out my name as I walked down the front and told him... I'm still new to all of this, but I can't help but be excited. I mean... By what he said... I can link it to my dreams of being in musical theatre and/or being on YouTube making covers of people's songs... Not everything he said made sense, but I guess that's to be expected... And I don't know what to make of everything that was said. But considering the words I received when I was baptised awhile back as well... Princess and the picture of a rainbow as well, meaning that promises will be fulfilled... I can't help but feel as though my dreams are maybe not dreams after all. That they might actually be promises for me, and I might actually get there. Who knows... I definitely still have "lions" to fight in terms of personal issues like self confidence and everything... But who knows. Maybe it all just means I'll be singing up the front of the church and that's it. Even if it is just that, I would be fairly happy with my life. But yeah... I honestly have no idea what to think of it all, and my brain is struggling to figure it out. I'm just gonna try and stop trying to work it out, and just let life live it's course... Gonna be hard to do, that's for sure!
I'm pretty sure I've ranted enough now... Hehe. Whoops...
~Love is ___~
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