Wassup Blogosphere?
So yeah... I know it's been a fair while since I've last posted... But I've been pretty flat out! ... By flat out I mean if I'm not at work or out with friends, I've been sprawled out on my bed trying to catch as many zzzz's as possible before going through the cycle again!
So, life has gotten relatively... Interesting since my last blog post. Believe it or not.
Yes... After that massive emotional rant; my life has pretty much completely turned upside down.
To start with, the guy I was confessing my tormented thoughts over..? Yeah... Considering how completely subtle I was *cough* about my feelings and everything; he worked out that he was the fella I was talking about... Whoops! :P
On the plus side... Turns out feelings were relatively mutual between us; and we may, or may not, be together now!
Yep! [Miss "I'm-Gonna-Live-Up-The-Single-Life, Screw-The-Male-Gender" Invisible] has managed to land herself into another relationship... Not saying that's a bad thing, cause it sure isn't; but yeah... Always seems to work out that way for me, don't it? :P
For those who know me in real life, those who may have connected some dots in previous blog posts, or those who have absolutely no idea: his name is [K-Dawg].
Yup. I wrote about a couple of posts back about how we met, then it spiraled relatively quickly from there. I have never been so obvious about my feelings for a guy before, whether intentional or not; but I guess I can't complain since it got me where I am currently... Insanely sleep-deprived, surrounded by sounds of gun shots and some music classics, but pretty damn happy.
I might save it for a future post to reveal more about [Miss-Dawg] / [K-Invisible] (Yeah, imagination running high right now! ;P) because there's a fair amount I could write about that and I am way too tired to write so much right now! I really ought to get out of this nocturnal sleeping pattern I'm adjusting too, so I can actually wake up and make it to my classes once I get back to Uni... Hmmm...
One thing that I have noticed recently is that I am starting to go down the dark path I haven't walked down in years... That path is the suicidal one.
Now... I am a coward. I am way too chicken to ever kill myself. But it's never a good sign when I start saying/thinking things along the lines of "It'll end my pain", "It'll make life so much easier", "What's the point anymore?" etc...
I haven't had these thoughts in a very long time; but, from memory, the short-term future isn't pretty. I've already been having more recent breakdowns over the past year or so, I don't need the extra stress of the heavy-weighted depression that comes with having those thoughts...
It's tough for me right now. Especially when I'm starting to refuse compliments again as well. I had worked through that issue with [Carl] and [Riot!], but since I've started dating [K-Dawg] I seem to be going backwards; which is always fantastic to know...
A lot of hard work for such little reward is how it feels for me currently. Every time I feel as though I've made progress with my Asperger's and all the limitations that come with it; something happens and one, or more, 'lessons' seem to unravel and appear as though I hadn't learnt a thing in the first place.
I'm not meaning to gripe on about how hard my life is, cause I know people have it harder than me. Believe me, I'm grateful for what I have! I guess I just need to share the thoughts plaguing my mind, as it does actually help relieve some of the stress and pain.
Side note: That e-mail I received about Australia's Got Talent..? Yeah, I decided against it. I got into Uni again this year, and I don't wanna screw that over; plus I'm really not good enough, nor am I prepared, to enter any form of competitive show with my voice.
I really don't have much else to say... The past two to three weeks have been spent pretty much just working and hanging out with [K-Dawg] and his friends. When I'm not doing that, I'm sleeping... I'm generally not getting into bed until about 4-5am, and not getting back out until 12-1pm... It's really, truly terrible!
Oh! I did catch up with [Bestiality] for a belated birthday celebration at The Comedy Club which was tons of fun! Lots of laughter was had that night, and it was good to catch up with the fiancee again ;D
Well... That's probably it from me for now. I know somewhere in my mind there is more that I have to discuss; but it's currently foggy and very slow functioning so... I might leave it till the future when my brain is back in action again!
Sleep well and stay safe, yeah?
~I was searching for something...~
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