WARNING: The author of this blog is incredibly tired. Any sporadic writing or random babbling is to be blamed on University assignments and lack of sensibility on the author's part.
Now that that's out of the way... HI!
Yes, I am so incredibly sleepy right now... All I have to say on this matter is: be afraid. Be very afraid!
So, um, yeah... The Slave Auction. Wow, was that entertaining! First item that was auctioned off that night was the men's naked calender... Followed by the slaves. Oddly, not many people seemed to be spending much money to get anything. I mean, everything/one ended up being bought; but the ending prices weren't as high as I would have liked, considering it's going to charity... I pitched in whatever change I had to add to the Pitt collection tin, which resulted us in having about $300 all together. This also resulted in Pitt buying the most slaves that night... Pretty sure, out of the 14-16 slaves available for purchase; we bought 10 of them. Let's just say Pitt made the most of 24 hours and 10 slaves... Muahahaha!
Apart from that, not much has really happened over the past week... It's actually been relatively boring. I had a four day long weekend from Saturday to Tuesday; which was awesome! But other than that; my week has been filled with late nights and early mornings. Making me incredibly tired... Which has also resulted me in skipping a few too many lectures this week... Whoops!
I guess I wanted to blog a little about something that got me down this week. I don't know what it was! I mean... Everyone's noticed a change in me at Uni. I'm more bubbly. More happy-go-lucky. More... CRAZY! (Believe it or not...). But... I've been spending a fair amount of time with [Chappy] lately (which, by the way, is not the problem!); and he has photos up on his bedroom wall. He got into a reminiscent mood and started explaining what every photo meant, where it was taken, etc. Now, I also don't have a problem with this. I love hearing what people have done with their lives so far... But I realised that night that the reason why I love hearing such stories; is because I want to have done them myself.
It's... Weird, and slightly difficult to explain. But, hearing [Chappy] go on about his life; made me feel happiness for him, but oh so much jealousy and envy at the same time... It got me really upset by the end; but I managed to keep a hold on it.
I'm thankful for what I've gotten in my life; and what I still have. But... Those people who have been able to travel outside of Australia, or even just a lot! I feel envious of. Those people with a large loving family that stays relatively well connected, I'm envious of.
I could use [Carl] and [Riot!] as perfect examples for this (No offence intended here boys).
[Carl] actually has the best of both worlds really, but I'm going to focus on the travelling side with him. He has /literally/ been almost everywhere in the entire world. And he turned 17 in April. He had his own /brand new/ car when he was still 15. And there are countless other benefits that boy has got that I could mention, but I'm not going to go into it. Yes, I'm aware that some people are more better off than myself. No, I do not want a flashy car as my first one. And no, I don't want to have travelled /everywhere/; because that's what the rest of my life is for... But; there is still that horrible selfish side of me that comes out to play at times... Wanting a car of my own. Wishing I had travelled elsewhere in the world apart from America when I was 3 years old... Is this terrible of me? Or is it just natural for us Homo sapiens to always want more than we have... Whether we let it control us or not?
[Riot!] has the perfect family example. Far out... His family has got to be my most favourite family in the world (so far). Any time I'm at his place and his family members are there; I feel as though I belong... Regardless of the fact that I'm not related to them! They include me in family discussions which are usually the most random of topics. One moment it can be paid parking, the next it can be about how gutsy we are with theme park rides, the next they have my crying with laughter over family memories.
^^^^ That! Is the kind of family I want. A big family that come together for occasions. Sharing presents, or memories, or laughter... I know this probably stems from my whole having Asperger's and not fully understanding family/love values until the past few years... Or it could be due to the fact that my family are far flung over the country/world... Or the fact that, regardless of how far away they are; majority of my extended family couldn't give two rats asses about my immediate family.
I really hope I don't sound whiny in this post... I love my immediate family. They frustrate me to no end; but at the end of the day, I love them to pieces. And I know that. And I love my family members that actually care and come visit. The rest of my family? Pssh. They may as well be strangers. And I'm past caring about them. Or wanting them to be a part of my life. Because it's never gonna happen!
I can't wait to start my own family. Granted; I'm not too keen on the birthing part... Because, damn that's probably gonna hurt like a bitch! But everything after that.
I mean, yeah... I'm terrified (but also 99% certain) that my kids will also have Asperger's and that I won't be the greatest Mum in the world due to me having it myself... But dammit if I'm not gonna try and do the best I can. Find help for my kids. Provide my own advice and hope against all hopes that it works... Try and be my kids best friend, and confidant; rather than someone who doesn't let them go to their friends sleepover because I'm mean like that.
I don't even know where this blog post has gone guys... Sorry 'bout that :P
On an unrelated note (because I can't focus my thoughts for too long tonight apparently); I went to [Clearly Unfocused]'s 18th gathering yesterday, which was nice. It's always good to catch up with my friends shenanigans; as I so rarely see them nowadays. A part of me feels stupid asking generic questions like "what's happening at Uni?" or "how's your love life?" because everyone else knows basically what's going on; but I'm all the way in Gatton playing with Dunnarts and getting up to crazy Uni antics to know what's going on myself... But! I'm certainly not complaining. I'm just so glad I'm still in contact with them bitches <3
I'm now back at Uni; playing SongPop and DrawSomething with [Chappy] (because we clearly have nothing better to do...) until an hour's time when it's lunch. Then I'll be relatively occupied for the rest of the day. I'm listening to my iTunes which grows almost by the day now I swear! Thanks to the club, I'm now listening to more modern music and finding songs I like; but I'm still always listening to my Euro-pop, musicals and country as always. That will never change!
Aaaand I just remembered about my fanfiction... Wow. I'm pretty sure I posted up Chapter 3 close to half a year ago now; and I haven't looked at it again since... I know! It's terrible... It's not that I don't enjoy writing it; cause it's quite the opposite! I have a blast! I think it's more the fact that I had a massive writer's block writing the description of the main female character (I kinda want her to be perfect...); and also not knowing where my story is headed next is a big issue. I have my main plot points, but getting to them is the problem for me.
... I might end this post now while some of you may still consider me sane. I have no idea where this blog post went off too but... If there's unfinished sentences/thoughts/paragraphs/ideas... That's pretty much how my mind works! Though normally I'm awake enough to fix these monstrous post outlines... :P
I'll see some of you sometime in the future... Yeah?
~Don't wake me up; don't wake me!~
Apart from that, not much has really happened over the past week... It's actually been relatively boring. I had a four day long weekend from Saturday to Tuesday; which was awesome! But other than that; my week has been filled with late nights and early mornings. Making me incredibly tired... Which has also resulted me in skipping a few too many lectures this week... Whoops!
I guess I wanted to blog a little about something that got me down this week. I don't know what it was! I mean... Everyone's noticed a change in me at Uni. I'm more bubbly. More happy-go-lucky. More... CRAZY! (Believe it or not...). But... I've been spending a fair amount of time with [Chappy] lately (which, by the way, is not the problem!); and he has photos up on his bedroom wall. He got into a reminiscent mood and started explaining what every photo meant, where it was taken, etc. Now, I also don't have a problem with this. I love hearing what people have done with their lives so far... But I realised that night that the reason why I love hearing such stories; is because I want to have done them myself.
It's... Weird, and slightly difficult to explain. But, hearing [Chappy] go on about his life; made me feel happiness for him, but oh so much jealousy and envy at the same time... It got me really upset by the end; but I managed to keep a hold on it.
I'm thankful for what I've gotten in my life; and what I still have. But... Those people who have been able to travel outside of Australia, or even just a lot! I feel envious of. Those people with a large loving family that stays relatively well connected, I'm envious of.
I could use [Carl] and [Riot!] as perfect examples for this (No offence intended here boys).
[Carl] actually has the best of both worlds really, but I'm going to focus on the travelling side with him. He has /literally/ been almost everywhere in the entire world. And he turned 17 in April. He had his own /brand new/ car when he was still 15. And there are countless other benefits that boy has got that I could mention, but I'm not going to go into it. Yes, I'm aware that some people are more better off than myself. No, I do not want a flashy car as my first one. And no, I don't want to have travelled /everywhere/; because that's what the rest of my life is for... But; there is still that horrible selfish side of me that comes out to play at times... Wanting a car of my own. Wishing I had travelled elsewhere in the world apart from America when I was 3 years old... Is this terrible of me? Or is it just natural for us Homo sapiens to always want more than we have... Whether we let it control us or not?
[Riot!] has the perfect family example. Far out... His family has got to be my most favourite family in the world (so far). Any time I'm at his place and his family members are there; I feel as though I belong... Regardless of the fact that I'm not related to them! They include me in family discussions which are usually the most random of topics. One moment it can be paid parking, the next it can be about how gutsy we are with theme park rides, the next they have my crying with laughter over family memories.
^^^^ That! Is the kind of family I want. A big family that come together for occasions. Sharing presents, or memories, or laughter... I know this probably stems from my whole having Asperger's and not fully understanding family/love values until the past few years... Or it could be due to the fact that my family are far flung over the country/world... Or the fact that, regardless of how far away they are; majority of my extended family couldn't give two rats asses about my immediate family.
I really hope I don't sound whiny in this post... I love my immediate family. They frustrate me to no end; but at the end of the day, I love them to pieces. And I know that. And I love my family members that actually care and come visit. The rest of my family? Pssh. They may as well be strangers. And I'm past caring about them. Or wanting them to be a part of my life. Because it's never gonna happen!
I can't wait to start my own family. Granted; I'm not too keen on the birthing part... Because, damn that's probably gonna hurt like a bitch! But everything after that.
I mean, yeah... I'm terrified (but also 99% certain) that my kids will also have Asperger's and that I won't be the greatest Mum in the world due to me having it myself... But dammit if I'm not gonna try and do the best I can. Find help for my kids. Provide my own advice and hope against all hopes that it works... Try and be my kids best friend, and confidant; rather than someone who doesn't let them go to their friends sleepover because I'm mean like that.
I don't even know where this blog post has gone guys... Sorry 'bout that :P
On an unrelated note (because I can't focus my thoughts for too long tonight apparently); I went to [Clearly Unfocused]'s 18th gathering yesterday, which was nice. It's always good to catch up with my friends shenanigans; as I so rarely see them nowadays. A part of me feels stupid asking generic questions like "what's happening at Uni?" or "how's your love life?" because everyone else knows basically what's going on; but I'm all the way in Gatton playing with Dunnarts and getting up to crazy Uni antics to know what's going on myself... But! I'm certainly not complaining. I'm just so glad I'm still in contact with them bitches <3
I'm now back at Uni; playing SongPop and DrawSomething with [Chappy] (because we clearly have nothing better to do...) until an hour's time when it's lunch. Then I'll be relatively occupied for the rest of the day. I'm listening to my iTunes which grows almost by the day now I swear! Thanks to the club, I'm now listening to more modern music and finding songs I like; but I'm still always listening to my Euro-pop, musicals and country as always. That will never change!
Aaaand I just remembered about my fanfiction... Wow. I'm pretty sure I posted up Chapter 3 close to half a year ago now; and I haven't looked at it again since... I know! It's terrible... It's not that I don't enjoy writing it; cause it's quite the opposite! I have a blast! I think it's more the fact that I had a massive writer's block writing the description of the main female character (I kinda want her to be perfect...); and also not knowing where my story is headed next is a big issue. I have my main plot points, but getting to them is the problem for me.
... I might end this post now while some of you may still consider me sane. I have no idea where this blog post went off too but... If there's unfinished sentences/thoughts/paragraphs/ideas... That's pretty much how my mind works! Though normally I'm awake enough to fix these monstrous post outlines... :P
I'll see some of you sometime in the future... Yeah?
~Don't wake me up; don't wake me!~
2 comments:
If you ever want to know what's going on in my mediocre life, just send me a message anytime and I shall tell you. Even though not much is happening :P Also, I have had many of those times feeling jealous of other people's stuff/relationships/happiness etc., but soon enough you'll realise you have awesomeness too :)
I know I know! I just also have the memory of a sieve; as well as stuff is always happening at Uni to distract me from thinking to send messages.
I've always known and appreciated the awesomeness that I have; but I still get so jealous of people haha. But it's good to know someone else does it too!
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