Small Rambles

Hey hey!

So I just came back from an hour and a half of learning some line dances which was pretty awesome; and I'm now pumped up on energy that I figured I'd put into this, rather than continuously dancing the few that I can still remember :P Mostly for the sake of my poor feet...

But just to continue on that for a moment, I had a good time! Trying to help [Genius!] out with coordinating her feet got interesting at times, and it made me thankful that I'm naturally coordinated; not gonna lie! I'm now waiting, in horror, for more of the videos to be released that one of the guys took of all the dances; including the fresher dance at the end, where I happened to pull a bit of a ridiculous face at the camera... Yeah! Intelligent [Miss Invisible] is intelligent!

What else have I done today? I actually did some study! Which, to some, may not seem like a big deal; but to me it is. I honestly have no idea what is wrong with me lately, but I have been working my hardest to get out of this 'phase' that I'm in where all motivation for study has just disappeared. It wasn't much... And I still have a quiz on Thursday, along with a quiz and assignment due on Monday; but I'm mostly hoping that I'll smash some more out tomorrow and Thursday, since I'm going to be having a long weekend due to our lecturer being required elsewhere on Friday. And, I know what I'm like on a weekend... Not much is gonna get done! Especially when I have to work it all around work as well.

I've also recently decided to get back into writing my neglected fanfiction! Obviously around assessments, so I won't be able to do much for the next short while... And, I'd say I'll work on it on the holidays but... It appears that my holidays have been stolen by more Uni so... Maybe on the four-five days I do get for the holiday, rather than the given nine or so... Woo! Yay for compulsory external subjects!

I'm pretty excited about it though. It's been soooo long! I went through the first three chapters again and, when not fixing errors, I just couldn't help but get sucked back in and fall in love with my characters all over again! Even the main character, who I originally based off of [Riot!], was still as close to my heart as ever. I'm not sure whether I've found someone who I can ideally base him off yet but... The character wasn't too heavily based on [Riot!] to begin with so, it shouldn't be too difficult to keep writing as him with little change.

For those of you wondering about the situation between [K-Dawg] and I.. I'm not going to elaborate too much. I'm just going to say that... My last post has been deleted, because it is evident that confusion and emotion don't make for healthy blog writing; and clearly don't get the point I'm trying to make across, but rather creates other assumptions instead.
Information has changed as well, making it quite incorrect now... But we are working things through, and will /hopefully/ come to a result soon. I'm just honestly hoping that this is the last time things like this happen, because a girl can only go through so much stress in her life; and I've still got kids to come! :P

Ugh, I have plenty of energy... Yet nothing in my brain to fuel my typing fingers! Umm... Charity Week at Uni is coming up! Next week actually, come to think of it... Which means there will probably be tales of me dying at the 24 hour dance square, or dying of laughter at the slave auctions. Here's hoping I can sneak into another Anatomy prac though, so I can do the full 24 hours this time... Need to beat last year's 16!

Oh! Speaking of Anatomy! I got to play with the reproductive parts of a male bull today! Which was so much better than last week when we were looking at the female reproductive anatomy, and we got a teeny tiny little lamb... A lamb... That hadn't even hit puberty yet! -_- So much fun trying to identify things when they're so darn small :P
This week was very much different. Always takes me a bit to get into it but... Can't help but be interested, as well as have a bit of fun, in what's in front of you... Or maybe that's just me? Hey! Why do you think I'm studying this stuff then?! :P
Pretty sure I grossed a fair few people out on Facebook as well with a photo... Definitely worth it! You guys were graced with a photo, while I was face to face with the real thing; if that makes any of those who suffered feel any better :P You also didn't have to smell it! So yeah! Be thankful that a photo is all you got ;)

Aaaand I've now run out of things to say... Might go off and do a bit more study maybe, before bed... Or give my feet some love and care after dancing for an hour and a half in shoes that really do not support them in anyway... Whoops!

Until next time people!

~If you want the world, I suggest you come with me~

Go And Let The Lonely In

Hi hi hi hi hi hi hiiiiii!!

... Yes, it's been a month. Yes, I generally have tons of time to write blogs. Yes, I find awesome things to write about then forget about them as soon as I sit my backside down in front of the computer... Just don't hate meee D':

So, I am now nearing the end of my third week back at University! I don't remember telling you that I did end up having my show of cause application accepted but... It's pretty obvious that it was, cause I'm back! And still lazy as ever! Woo!
Actually, I'm not /as/ bad... I have improved the tiniest little smidgen! Yay for improvement!

But yeah... What I really wanted to talk about, in regards to Uni, is how lonely it is this semester. Like, ridiculously.

So, there was a small group of us girls who would hang out last year and whatever. We weren't all necessarily friends with each other, but they'd be people you could talk too at lunch if there's nobody else or dance with at the club... Then about half of those girls didn't get back onto Halls at the start of this year. It didn't affect me so much, cause I still had [Bestiality] and a couple of other girls I'm really close too... But what happened over the holidays just gone? We lost one of our girls (a major one who I used to dance at the club with), and I've lost [Bestiality]... Although it's only for this semester, I am already dying on the inside. Being my closest friend, by far, and one of the only people I had left here... And for her to then not be here... I haven't felt so lonely in my life!
The only other girl who I am close too, goes home halfway through the week when we have our day off; so I actually barely see her... A little bit on Monday/Tuesday, and a smidgen on Thursday/Friday... And that's only during the first half of the day, if we're in the same class. Other than that, we have differing classes or she's driving on home again... So, I've been hanging out with [Genius!] a lot more, and a couple other freshers who stick around with her; and I have been spending more time with a friendly Sheltonite, which is good! I am forming a couple more friendships but... I'm going to keep it simple as many of you don't overly know [Genius!] that well, but... I can only handle hanging out with her so much before I start going a little crazy. I'm not trying to make her out to be a bad person, because she genuinely is a nice girl! It's hard to explain... I guess my Asperger's just acts up and clashes with some of her personality traits; which is frustrating to say the least.

But, regardless of the fact that I've made a couple more friends... At lunch times, I'm generally sitting on my own in a corner; and I want nothing but to have [Bestiality] back in her room, so I can jump on her bed and rant to her about anything and everything again... Or go on Macca's DnM runs... Or even just have someone back at Res Sport, or the club, who I'm comfortable around or can dance with!

I'm trying to be a part of Halls life as best I can, considering there's another 400 odd students who we'll be competing with for spots next year as a new course comes in... But it's so difficult when I'm just there, on my own, all awkward like. Or [Genius!] and a couple others are there, so I sit with them; but don't generally feel as sociable, or have to watch myself from whacking her over the head when she gets right up in my face... 

And I know I'm still privileged. I know that I'm incredibly lucky to be on Halls, and back in Uni. I'm not trying to whine about how I don't have anything, or how life sucks. Cause I know it doesn't... But I was hoping to really turn a new leaf this semester, and I was hoping tat [Bestiality] and I could do that together, since we've both been struggling in terms of study and all that... But I don't even really have anyone to study with now! One of my subjects is external, so basically completely independent work... I'm repeating a first year course I failed, so I have no fellow second years; and am just surrounded by people I don't really know at all... And the other one, I do have the girl I was talking about earlier (the one who goes home... I don't have a name yet though! Errr... [Sweetheart]? Cause that's pretty much just what I think of her.. Anyways!) but I'll have to see if I can work in study sessions with her, when she's actually at the Uni.

So yeah.. And I barely go to the club anymore since I don't really have anyone to go with. I went last night, due to [K-Dawg] coming to Uni to go with me as it was a Onesie theme... But the DJ, who is normally good, was having an off night; and I just couldn't handle being there anymore, so we decided to leave... I can't stand my unstable emotions sometimes, honestly! This time I didn't want to be there because I just missed everyone. I missed [Bestiality] doing the fresher dances with me, and [Sweetheart] being all awkward and not really dancing unless she's had a drink and even then only minimal, and the other girl (now dubbed [Shawty]) going absolutely crazy and being my "sexy dance partner". Heck, I was even missing [Chappy] a little (even though he's still on Halls) because he wasn't at the club; and I wanted to have a random chat with him, while smelling the fantastic scent of rum on his breath... And, as much as I love [K-Dawg] and spending time with him; going to clubs with him stresses me. I know that he's a socialite who doesn't really dance, but can have just as much fun just by talking to people... But I like dancing at a club... Yet, I feel awkward and can't dance like I normally would when he's around... It's weird, I don't even understand. Then, if he looks even remotely bored; I start stressing that he's not having a good time, which then just spirals my mood.. So yeah, it's a good fun cycle! I am seriously hopeless haha...

So anyways! I should mention what subjects I am doing this semester so when I mention them in the future, y'all won't get confused... So I'm doing Systems (the repeated first year subject), Anatomy II, and Monotremes (the external one... It has a much longer name, but just Monotremes will do :P). So yes! Only three subjects from now on! Because, I was clearly struggling with four... I probably could easily handle four if my head was in the right space for it; but I doubt I'm ever going to get it there, so three it is! I just wish I can find that feeling, or instance, or whatever to help me find the drive and desire to do what I want to do. I've always loved animals, so why am I not fueled with desire now that I'm studying Wildlife? Apart from the fact that this is a Science degree, and we actually barely look at animals half the time... Or perhaps the fact that when we do finally study wildlife, it's all Australian wildlife with nothing on exotics... Which is the polar opposite of what I'm interested in! *Sigh*

I swear I had intended this post to be positive when I opened it... Well! I guess it's good to get everything out anyway, since it was clearly eating me up a fair chunk.

It was [K-Dawg]'s birthday two days ago (HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU OLD THING!) and it is his mother's today... So I'm headed out to her birthday dinner tonight with the rest of the family, so should be nice. Then I have work tomorrow night, followed by an early wake up call on Saturday to drive half an hour away for a Harassment session my work has organised since my little discovery I mentioned a blog back or two. I had managed to get out of two sessions (with genuine reasons), and thought I had gotten off Scott-free... But apparently I haven't! And if I hadn't agreed to go to this session, I would have had to call up the boss higher than her (who is scary as shiz and I avoid with my life) and organise something... So I have to go out, to an /induction/ to do this. Apparently the induction goes from 9am-2pm but that I "should" be out within the hour. They will hear about it if I have stay any longer, because I have already been through the induction when I first went back to Subway... It was boring as anything, and I know everything. Plus, I actually have better things to do with my life then sit in a room with newbies watching multiple videos... Ugh.

So yes! Hopefully I will be free shortly after so I can get a haircut! Which I have not had one since September last year! I know... I'm terrible... But seriously, that's how cheap I have been with my money. If I can afford putting it off, I will do it for as long as possible. The only reason I'm going this weekend is because Mum is booking my sister in, and suggested she could book me in as well; which I figured I may as well, so I can look better for [K-Dawg]'s birthday party that same night ;)

And yeah... Other than all that, my life is quite boring at the moment. With two jobs and Uni, my weekdays consist of minimal classes & work; along with the usual other stuff that happens here, that I try to find motivation to go too... And then my weekends consist of work, all three days... So, relatively tired a lot lately! Along with me /finally/ starting to go to the gym... I'm finding it difficult to stay motivated and go every week; but I am also going to Zumba and Boot Camp classes, so it's not like I'm entirely lazing around when not at the gym.

And [K-Dawg] was kind enough to show me a new online game that has now taken my soul and captured it, so I am now mindlessly devoted to it and just... In love. Hehehe. I am still trying to get some Uni work in though! ... In between gaming sessions ;)

Other than that, I don't have much else to say! I'm going to see P!nk in concert soon, as well as things are pretty much finalised for The Lion King in February... Well, so long as the other two comrades give me the moneys for the ticket that is... Let's not forget that in February as well Vampire Academy: Blood Sisters comes out in the cinemas, which I am so damn keen about! I have read the books (and am impatiently waiting for her latest to come out in November) and they are amazing; and from the discussions people have bee having, and what I've gotten from behind the scenes.. The movie is looking pretty damn awesome! Though, I swear, if I hear anyone relating it to Twilight again; I will break something... I can't stand the fact that whenever people say vampires nowadays, it's all related straight to that series! Vampire Academy is a heck of a lot better, and is more text-book vampire again; but Richelle Mead puts her own touch on them so they're a little different, but not sparkly and all that jazz.

Oooooh! And let's not forget that WICKED is coming back early next year as well! I can't quite remember the dates... I'm going to hazard a guess somewhere around March to May? But yes... I need a fair chunk of $$$ by Christmas to support me staying on Halls next year, as the parentals can't keep affording to pay; but I might be struggling with all the awesomeness that is coming up in the near future! :D

I can't think of much else to say now... I'm all rambled out. At least I got more positive near the end! I honestly didn't mean this post to be so heavy and ranty... This is why I should blog more often! So I can have more of the types of posts I actually /want/... But that requires effort I clearly don't have :P

Until next time fellow dwellers of the interwebs!

~I'm the shadow of a girl that I used to know so well~