Hold On Be Strong

"Can you feel this magic in the air? It must have been the way you kissed me..."


Oh, sorry ^.^ Please don't flatter yourself and think I was referring to you, because I wasn't. I was just listening to Taylor Swift and though, hmm I'm gonna blog, and next thing I know that's my first line. Besides, half the people who read this blog would be a little weirded out if I kissed them... So would I...


Stuff you Blogger for not thinking 'weirded' is a word >.< Wait but it accepts the second one? Asdfghjkl!


Today I travelled the painfully long hour to Gatton to attend the Open Day for the University of Queensland. My first thought? It smells here... Literally. All I could smell at first was the lovely scent of horse and cow manure. I was like, and this is where I'm going for Uni... Ha! But thankfully, the equine and bovine precincts are a fair distance from the main area with the accommodation I may or may not be living in next year... Or the year after? Ugh I hate money >.< Anyways. Another thought I had was "Holy moly, I think this place could even be bigger than the St Lucia campus!" Which is scary... The major difference between St Lucia and Gatton though is St Lucia looks more scarier which the tall, modern, fancy buildings. Gatton is way more laid back. Literally. Most of the buildings look kinda old on the outside, but new on the inside. The atmosphere is relaxing though, which was good for me considering I went round on my own for half the day. Yeah, my family ditched me... >.<


People were walking round with dogs and everything! I think one chick had a baby pig wrapped up in a blanket and was walking round... I have fallen in love with the place. It's my kinda place, ya feel me? Jokes... But seriously. UQ Gatton = Love.


EXCEPT! The sessions they held today. I went to the Vet Science one really keen to get some info... All they gave me was stuff I heard before. I was like, =.= I am at Gatton, the home of animals, agriculture and the like; and the best you can give me is "This is what you'd do in the first year, second year, etc. And this is what you can do once you finish it." I don't know what more I wanted... But everything I was told today, I'd already heard at least once before... Ughhh >.< I ended up not going to the last session and headed home... Good timing though because the rest of my family came back and looked ready to kill each other and go home... Family love FTW guise.


I don't know. I liked but didn't like Gatton at the same time. I'm not entirely sure what it is. Maybe it's the fact that after today I am slightly re-questioning AGAIN What I am going to do. Ugh. There are so many things to work out. The two courses I want to do would mean I would spend at least 9 years in University. If I want to complete them both. This means lotsa $$$. And I don't exactly have money growing out of trees or anything... But I badly want to do them both! Vet Science I have wanted to do my whole life, and the other one (Dual degree of Agribusiness and Applied Science) is a course I am going to use to get there. If I get a GPA of at least 6.0 after my first year in the dual, I can get into Vet Science straight away. But, who knows if I get in that course and fall in love and want to finish it? Not to mention the Asia trip in the fourth year :3 But I try not to base my biased decisions on that... Heh.


The main issue with all of this is my parents. I swear, they are what makes it so freakin' tough going to University. I am currently unemployed, and am seeking out jobs like there's no tomorrow. None of them are taking me. I'm sure [Tenuto Tuo] would agree with me here when I say that it makes it hard trying to do what you want to do and love, only to have your parents say otherwise. I mean, my parents are all for me doing what I want... To an extent. And that extent is money. Which is great! Cause you know, I'm not perfectly capable of paying off my HECS fee once I get a job...


But whatever! Right?
I can't be bothered to go any further into that right now so I'll just move on...


[Riot!] gave me some more songs from the band, Paramore, and I am just gonna say that I hate him for it! I am kidding of course... I just feel like I'm starting to betray my beloved Europop music by listening to a couple of Paramore's songs, that I have fallen in love with, on repeat... I mean, I'll always be loyal to Luan Santana, Darin and Eric Saade; but it's not helpful when you have your best friend trying to convert you to the music he likes... ^.^ Heh, maybe I should reverse the situations... Try Europop on for size [Riot!] ;P


Oh yeah, and guyz my throat is still being a bitch to me >.< Whenever I feel like recording a video to put on Facebook my throat goes "Hahaha no bitch, I'ma make you burn now". This. Sucks.


I have my last ever Athletics Carnival this Friday... I was anticipating this day for an entire year. Being in Year 12 means I can dress up, which is always good fun! But as the day came closer I realised I had no $$ to get a anything that could resemble a costume of some form; and there's also the fact that my life is currently a soap opera whereby I can't hang out with one friend because another will be there. This will also happen on my last ever Night of Celebration so I am so psyched right now about everything! =.= Seriously.


QCS is the week after this one... I'm not overly worried about it. I mean, I'm gonna try my best but in the end what's it going to achieve? I have the rest of the year level who could potentially bring me down, as well as my pretty sucky grades. I'm going to be aiming for an A in the test, but I would happily settle for a B. If I aim for a B then I'll end up getting a C which is definitely not good...
According to [Tenuto Tuo]'s OP calculator thing, if I get a B on the QCS with the current grades I have then I will most likely be looking at an OP 8. It's not as great as I would've expected I could have achieved in years 8 or 9; but in year 12 that's pretty damn good to me! It's a single digit, what's more to love?

Ever been young and naïve and wished for things? Could be anything really... But then you get what you want... Potentially even more, and all of a sudden you realise how much you don't want it. Yeah. I'm going through a major case of that right now. I don't want to go into details. I mean, if you are a devoted reader you could potentially already know the very basics of it. But that's as far as I've divulged into this topic. It is way too personal and complicated to be put on here. I'd never know where to start anyway.

Well, I wanted this to be a positive blog, but I guess nothing turns the way you expect it...

I shall leave you all here until next time fellow amigos.

Oh and please ignore the random colouring of today's blog. Blogger decided to play games with me. >.<

~Love can be hard sometimes~

Hey There Mini Me!

So the latest RAVE lesson was about memories, and it has spurred my friends into writing a letter to their Year 8 self. This has now made me incredibly sentimental and wanting to write one as well... So here goes!

 Dear Jayde,

Yes, because I am you, I know about your obsession with this spelling of our name. Let me tell you now; you eventually grow out of that. You will find a nickname in the end of Year 11 that ends up on your school jersey, and you fall in love with it.

It has been just over two years since you have moved from Adelaide to Queensland and you still hurt bitterly... Believe me when I say that you have to move on. Time flies so quickly, and by Year 12 you will have almost completely forgotten what it was like living in Adelaide as your whole life is now in Queensland.
Don't get me wrong, you still miss and love your best girl friend, though you don't really talk to each other for awhile due to the long distance. But in Year 12 you start growing closer again, and (currently) am planning 18th birthday parties with each other and planning to go to the Melbourne Cup when you are both 18!

Which then would answer another of your questions I am sure you would ask when reading this... Yes, you still adore animals. To pieces! I will warn you that you do go through a tough time in Year 11 where you truly feel as though as you are living life for nothing because you can't get the OP to be a Vet, and there are no other careers out there for you. Yeah, it's nasty, but you make it through! Stronger than ever!

Right now, you are probably singing some Kasey Chambers song to yourself while reading this... Sorry to break it to you, but you do grow off of that kind of music. You still listen to it every now and again and love it as much as always... But you will meet someone this year who will change your music tastes forever.

Your insecurities about your singing voice will continue to plague you. Unfortunately, the feeling of inadequacy never entirely goes away due to so many reasons... But just know that sometime in Year 12, you will feel the best you have ever felt about your voice. It will be short lived, but it will happen, and it will make you feel incredible.

So you are playing Percussion this year with your teacher, Mr Keating. You chose it because it is the easiest to do, and you are not interested at all in learning an instrument... Well, I shall tell you now that in Year 11 this also changes. Influential friends unknowingly encourage you to take on an instrument you fall in love with as soon as you see it lying in it's case. Before even playing it!

Now, by the end of this year you will have your first, true boyfriend. I say this, because all other guys you have 'dated' so far lasted less than a month, and all did it for the dare... Anywho, you and this future guy will be together for nine months and it doesn't end the way you prefer it... This will hurt you a lot, but it is because of this that you learn how to create 'walls' so as you can't get hurt that way again. Or so at least, you can deal with it better. This ability becomes a blessing, but a curse in the future...

Just letting you know, you and future guy do become friends again at one point where you make a big mistake; then you fade out of each other's lives... It's not as depressing as you think. In fact, you barely even notice.

A lot happens this year. Right now, you are thinking that once you are out of school you will become a hermit living by herself in the mountains surrounded by wild animals... As lonely, but awesome this sounds; you will find out sometime in the future that this won't be the case at all. In this year alone, you will form friendships with people who, at first you will take for granted, but very quickly become one of the most important things in your life that you can't live without.


Remember that tall, skinny guy who invited you to sit with him and his larger friend one lunchtime this year just gone because you were on your own? The one who sings Christmas Carols all year round and loves all things history? Well he becomes a good friend over the next few years. Especially in Year 12. He will bring a smile to your face in an instant and you will adore him for it.


As for his larger friend? Yeah, I'm not entirely sure, but you never quite get get to liking him. Especially at the end of Year 11 in a situation with leadership positions... But yeah, all I can say with that is, don't try to get yourself into his good books; because in the end isn't worth it.


Oh, and you will also have met a short, shy, brunette this year. This one is a keeper. Don't you dare take her for granted, as she soon becomes one of your closest of friends. Especially in Physics. Yes, you will do Physics in Year 11 and 12. At the moment it doesn't seem that bad, electric currents and all that. It's pretty darn easy. Trust me, you will have a heart attack in Year 11. No joke.


Oh and you know how Biology is your favourite Science right now? It won't be in a few years... Morris, your favourite teacher currently, will soon become the devil before your very eyes, and going to Biology will bore you to death. Fair warning here.


Instead, your favourite Science becomes Chemistry. You will adore it with all you have because you understand it so well, and you are so interested in it! Physics comes a close second only because the challenge (though it sucks) somehow keeps you interested. And it's always good fun joking around with your brunette buddy, or zoning out with her then totally acing the questions (yeah, you become awesome like that).


This year you will meet some people. And these people are going to change your life forever. Literally.


One of the first people you will become acquainted with will be a strange, pale girl. Believe it or not, you too get married in the future. Not literally of course! I can definitely tell you that your sexual orientation stays exactly where it is. But you and the pale girl become incredibly close friends and this leads to a two-minute wedding ceremony on a beach while on a camp for Biology. As strange as this is to you now, you will be completely fine with it and totally understand once you are in Year 11.


You will also meet a pale male (YAY for rhyming right?) who annoy you to death when you first meet him. Actually he annoys you excessively until about Year 11. He's still just as annoying, but you become better friends, so it's more in jest than annoyance. Year 12 is when you build an unexpectedly close bond with him. Of course, with his personality you will never truly know how he feels, but you will hope that he feels the same. He shows you this T.V. show in Year 12 that you fall in love with after the first episode; so what's not to like about this one?


A tall awkward boy will also cross your path. This boy has the same thing you do, Asperger's. You two become friends, but are always kind of iffy around each other, possibly because you never know what to say. In Year 12 he saves your laptop though, which means he's definitely a keeper! :P He is a very good friend to have around.


You will also meet a shy Asian guy. Now this guy is definitely a keeper. Not kidding. You too become so close and share so much with each other you will struggle knowing how on earth you could live without him.  He is the reason why your music taste changes and he will become the one you can rely on to tell anything too, and vice versa. Don't you dare take this one for granted! EVER!


This year you will do some crazy and fun things. To tell you what those are would ruin it for you. But I will mention that there is a murder mystery in there somewhere... As well as some art work that you will find frustrating, but fall in love with at the same time. Oh! And you will also get a Prep buddy! No joke, this will absolutely make your idea, and you will fall in love... Unconditionally. But unfortunately, as all kids do, eventually she grows up and begins to forget you... Sadness...


After all this, all I can say is have fun. Looking back at the year you are about to go into now, when in Year 12. It seems so far away, yet time has passed so quickly. Don't take what you get for granted. And try not to make too many rash decisions. The amount of hot water you get yourself into over the next few years is insane! >.<


From your friendly neighbourhood future self.


~I kinda really want my Year 8 self to read this now...~

You Must Be Miseducated...

Well hi there! Yes it has been a while... Blame school mmkay???


Hmmm where to start catching you up... Well last time I blogged I was on vocal rest with One coming up the next week.


Well I think it's obvious to say that I am now off of vocal rest, and One finally over... (Hells to the yeah!).


I still detest it extremely, but it must have been somewhat good if my Mum preferred it over The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe which was the school's musical two years ago... I was quite impressed with my solo actually. Every single time I sang The Call before the performances; I sucked. Literally. I hated the song so much! But for some reason, when on stage, I just got into the zone and was being praised by all backstage afterwards all three performances! Even the Saturday matinee where my throat felt like it was on fire and I was straining to get the notes out correctly... But hey! I did it! So WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :3


Okays, so since then my throat has been playing games with me... Before One it had recovered a fair amount, during One it broke down again, afterwards it started recovering, but as of last night into today it is being a bitch again. >.< To be fair, my entire body is playing games with me currently... But is incredibly annoying not being able to sing full blast like I used too... I hate how Laryngitis affects your throat so badly I literally have to re-train my voice to be able to hit notes like I used too... Like, seriously? WHAAAA?!?!?! That's around 15 years of singing down the drain... :/


On the positive side... I HANDED IN MY LAST MATHS ASSIGNMENT EVER TODAY! WOOOOOOOOOOOO! So pumped guyz!


How did we Maths B kids celebrate? Our teacher brings in donuts, lamingtons and cake thingies, and we sit around; eating and talking; for an hour... I love my teacher ^.^

One interesting thing was brought up in our celebratory chat though... And that was to do with a teacher by the name of [Liebenburg] who took over temporarily (till she was kicked out heh) while our actual teacher went on maternity leave. Now. This teacher? Was a bitch. She called an Asian student stupid to her face, and another student a fat slut... Also to her face. She also belittled us with certificates awarding us for being able to light a Bunsen-Burner correctly (YAY us!).
It turns out (according to my Maths teacher) that after [Liebenburg] left, [Maths] found a stack of hand-written letters from [Liebenburg] each individually addressed to each of us students in that class. The content of those letters were so bad that [Maths] was horrified and burned them to save us from having to read them (we were in Year 7 at the time).


All of our reactions (except those who weren't there in Year 7) can be summed up with a :O emoticon... And all of us pretty much immediately started whining that we couldn't read the letters... I mean, I'm sure if I'd read that in Year 7 my little innocent self would have been shattered! But if [Maths] had saved them till now... 5 years from then! I would have laughed my head off reading it! I am burning to know what she wrote in those letters! Unfortunately [Maths] can only remember a part that said "you could do so much better with your life if you got off your ass and worked" or something like that; which is incredibly flattering of her.


Moving on! A random thing I just remembered while on stage performing One. There were Chinese dance performances from the Year 1's and 2's. It was incredibly basic and the lines would switch every minute or so for the adoring parents in the audience who want to see their child dance front row.
Me, acting as the Mum of the family attending the picnic, and my 'husband' [Carl] had to sit on stage for the first half of Act One watching these and other performances. I noticed in these particular dances though that every time the lines would change; the little girls who were coming from the front line to the back, where we were, would look at me and give me the most adorable smiles and I could tell that they were so proud of themselves. I never got bored of them in all three performances because of this. The dance moves were so easy, but come on they're Year 1 and 2! What I looked forward to was the warm feeling I got whenever they looked at me with those shy little grins of theirs. I lost count how many times those adorable girls made me smile!


Ahem, moving on...


Currently, in Senior Symphonic band, we are learning Excerpts from the Firebird and Towards The Western Horizon. TTWH is a bitch of a song! I mean, I love the tune; it's catchy. But playing it? Ugh. Especially when I'm all on my own on Clarinet 3. I mean, Clarinet 3 is good, because you're the bottom so tend to get away with screwing up more cause the conductor has more important parts to focus on. But being Clarinet 3 means that I play both the main melody, and then random parts of the bass line... Switching between these can at times be confusing (at least for me... But I'm a noob guys so leave me alone!) and so I usually end up just sitting there with my Clari in my mouth; no sound being produced, just a puzzled look on my face and "WTF!?!?!?!" going over and over in my mind... Yeah, I love band rehearsals ^.^


In my RAVE lesson yesterday, our teacher told us to write down our best memory from Year 8, worst from Year 9 or 10, and something important we learnt in Year 11. Naturally this ended up in the entire class sitting in a circle talking about all the memories we've had... I found it irritating that I could barely remember anything until someone mentioned a memory. I always have [Clearly Unfocused], [Tenuto Tuo], [GoJo], and [Phantomess] saying things like "OMG! Remember when we did this?!?! It was Year 8." and most of the time I'm like ".......Noooo....???". On the rare occassion I do remember, but most of the time I don't.


The strange thing is that I remember my primary years (in Adelaide) better than my high school years (BrisVegas). Which I don't get, considering I have had so many more worthwhile memories with my amazing friends that I didn't have down in Adelaide... When our teacher asked us to write down one memory from primary school my head was abuzz with memories, but when he asked us to say what was the best thing about Year 8, I couldn't remember a single memory!


Of course, I can now remember a few things, but that's only because we went around the class and people read out their memories which a few applied to me also.
Oh well, I just hope that in the future I can retain enough memories from my school life that I can look back and reminisce on.


Well... I'm impressed with how much crap I've come up with in pieces over the past three and a half hours... But I am still feeling quite sick and rundown, so I shall end my blog post here... If there are any grammar errors in this, you can deal with it because I am too tired to do a grammar check :P


~60 school days left!~